— 73 —

Calling for the elders of the church refers to the request by one who is ill, for the church ministers to come anoint them with oil, and pray for them. “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven” (James 5.14-15).

It should be noted that the sick person is the one who initiates the invitation to the elders. This suggests that while the afflicted party certainly needs the added strength of the elders prayer and faith, yet the afflicted must also have faith — at least enough to call for the church leaders to come and pray. The technology of the telephone has made it much easier to “call” for the elders than it once was.

Usually the elders will also lay their hands on the sick during the anointing and prayer. This was a very common act by Jesus and his Apostles when they prayed for people (Luke 4.40, Acts 14.3), and He especially exhorted His followers to emulate this procedure when administering healing. “…they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover” (Mark 16.18).

The oil referred to by James has no medicinal effect or mystical powers, but is only used as a symbol of the Holy Spirit. Neither must we necessarily assume that a conductive power flows out from the elders’ hands into the sick body. There are no definite, scientific reasons for any of these acts, except they are matters of obedience to God’s Word — expressions of faith to which God promises to respond. “…the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up.”

The passage in James’ epistle also makes another interesting reference. Besides providing a strong assurance of healing, he says, “…And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven” (James 5.15). Throughout the Bible, this unique relationship between “healing” and “forgiveness” is frequently repeated. Such as with the Psalmist, who refers to healing as one of the believer’s benefits, as well as the forgiveness of sins. “Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases” (Psalms 103.2-3).

Healing has an interwoven relationship with forgiveness. The word “salvation” so frequently used in the New Testament, comes from the Greek, SOTERIA, which literally means “wholeness and healing, both in the physical and spiritual.” Furthermore, on one occasion, Jesus explained that this was one of the great reasons why he cured the sick — so they would know He also has power to save them. “For which is easier, to say, Your sins are forgiven you, or to say, Arise and walk? But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins; then He said to the paralytic, Arise, take up your bed, and go to your house” (Matthew 9.5-6).

Healing is considered one of the many attributes which were appropriated by the atonement of our suffering saviour. Jesus not only purchased the salvation of our soul, but His sufferings also procured our physical healing. “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53.4-5). Healing is a gift which was paid for by Christ’s substitutionary act, and is also listed as one of nine spiritual gifts given to the church (1 Corinthians 12.9).

Sometimes people question whether healing is really God’s will. However, a noted physician once said: “I’ve become convinced that no one seriously doubts God’s will to heal. If they really believed He wanted them sick, why would they try to evade His will by coming to see me? And what do you suppose I could do for them if it wasn’t His will for them to get well?”

Perhaps God’s will is best revealed by Jesus’ earthly ministry, of which the New Testament records eleven occasions where Jesus was approached for healing. Not once did He turn anyone away or express that it was not His will. This is significant since the Bible is designed to show God’s will, and gave us our foundation for faith (Romans 10.17). In one instance, a leper came to Jesus inquiring whether it was His will to heal him. “Lord, if it is your will you can heal me, he said. In response, Jesus extended his hand and said, it’s my will; be healed! And the man’s leprosy vanished” (Matthew 8.2-3).

Finally, one of the most remarkable endorsements of healing is expressed through God’s very name. Historically, the names of many people were derived from their trade, occupation or descriptive characteristics. For instance, those named “Smith” came from generations of blacksmiths. It was also a good way for a person to advertise his trade, “I’m Walter the Smith.” Similarly, God identifies His own name by what He does. In the Old Testament, He says that His name is JEHOVAH RAHPA, or, “I am the LORD who heals you” (Exodus 15.26). This is a convincing testimony of God’s will and nature regarding healing. How could He express His desire more clearly than to identify himself by the name, “I’m The Lord that heals you?” Not only does it convey His will — It’s His very name. “Healing” is who He is and what He does.

— 36 —

The Lord’s Supper, also referred to as Holy Communion, is one of two ordinances which Jesus gave to the church (the other being water baptism). Its practice is exercised in virtually all Christian churches in varying frequency — perhaps as often as every service or only one service a month. The origin of the practice begins with Christ’s Last Supper with his disciples, the evening before his trial and execution. The following/distance text is taken from Paul’s account of the event, and is the most frequent passage used in its association:

1 Corinthians 11.24 “…and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.
11.25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.
11.26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes.
11.27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.
11.28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread and drink of that cup.
11/29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.”

The Lord’s Supper originated as a meal of fellowship between Jesus and disciples, the evening before his trial and execution. This, however, was not a typical meal, but was an event of symbolic significance. It was Thursday of the calendar week of the Passover feast in Israel, which was a commemoration of the death angel’s passing over the Hebrew children in Egypt. During that historic event nearly fifteen hundred years earlier, each family obediently sacrificed a lamb for a meal and wiped its blood on their doorposts, which resulted in their national origin and deliverance from slavery (Exodus 12.1-51).

The Lord’s Supper was a Passover meal, in which Jesus portrayed Himself as the Lamb of the Passover. He showed that by partaking of His sacrifice by faith, with His blood wiped spiritually on the doorposts of one’s heart, death will pass over, bringing deliverance from sin and everlasting life in the promised land.

During his supper with his disciples, Jesus used bread and the “fruit of the vine,” as symbols of his body and blood which were soon to be rendered as an atonement for sin. He broke off portions from the unleavened bread and offered them to His disciples to eat, saying, “This is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” Later, he shared with them a common cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me” (1 Corinthians 11.24-25).

As the Passover feast was established as an everlasting memorial for the Jew, Jesus proclaimed his last supper as an ordinance for His followers — a memorial supper to be observed until His return. “This do… in remembrance of me… For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes” (1 Corinthians 11.26).

Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper as a continual practice for His followers for several reasons, of which here are four:

(1) To remember His suffering & Covenant (1 Corinthians 11.24-25). Jesus did not want His followers to grow forgetful of the great sacrifice He paid for them, and the incredible testament of salvation which we received.

(2) To Proclaim His death till He returns (1 Corinthians 11.26). The enactment of this supper, to be repeated over and over, continually emphasized the essential fact of His death, portrayed the reasons why, and served as a reminder of His second coming.

(3) To take self examination of our lives (1 Corinthians 11.28). Jesus instituted this supper as a very holy moment, for us to consider the state of our own heart before God. As we approach the sacredness of His body and blood, we weigh our heart against the awesomeness of His sacrifice. In this humble state, any faults, imperfections and sins come to realization, allowing us to confess them and obtain His forgiveness (1 John 1.9).

(4) To discern or recognize the Lord’s body (1 Corinthians 11.29). Discernment of the Lord’s body is one of the most remarkable truths in the Bible. Jesus served His disciples bread and wine as symbols of the divine merger which took place between Himself (His sufferings) and His followers. By becoming one with Jesus, we merge into one body, which brings about a unique effect: His body becomes ours, and our body becomes His. Christ’s followers are enabled to appropriate the substitution of His body in the place of their own on the cross, while they substitute their body in the place of His on the earth.

Discernment of the Lord’s body first brings recognition to how He became “our” body of sin for us, suffering and dying as the substitute for our sins. Peter wrote that Jesus “bore our sins in His own body on the tree…” (1 Peter 2.24), and Paul said, God “…made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us…” (2 Corinthians 5.21). Secondly, it also takes in account how that all believers become “His” body here on the earth. Paul wrote, “Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually” (1 Corinthians 12.27). Later, to the church of Ephesus he said, “For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones” (Ephesians 5.30). Paul also said our body is God’s temple, that His Holy Spirit dwells in every believer (1 Corinthians 3.16).

How important it is for believers to fully discern both elements of Christ’s body. Jesus gave a solemn warning that to partake of the sacredness of the Lord’s Supper in an unworthy manner, perhaps with unconfessed sin in our lives or without a proper estimation of the Lord’s body, would make us guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. He also explained that some may become sickly or die prematurely, because they have not properly discerned the Lord’s body (1 Corinthians 11.29).

Christ’s strength and blessing is connected with the value we place on this divine merger between His bodily sufferings, and His body, the church. This is consistent with other scripture, where Jesus made it clear that He combined His identity with the church. In fact, He views any actions toward His people, as actions toward Himself, saying that whatever we do for the “least” of our brethren, we have done it unto Him (Matthew 25.40). Elsewhere, other passages confirm that a right relationship with Christ is not possible without a right relationship with our Christian brothers. John wrote, “If someone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also” (1 John 4.20-21).

Furthermore, how is it possible to separate Christ’s sufferings from the people for which He suffered? Since “the value of anything is established by what it can be traded for,” Jesus clearly expressed His value upon God’s people by redeeming them with the price of His own life and sufferings. To Jesus, His people are equal to His shed blood and broken body. He views them equally as precious, and dwells in them by His Spirit, making them the body of His hands, fingers and toes through which He ministers in this world (1 Corinthians 12.12-27).

Considering these facts, there may be times that Christians have lacked God’s strength and healing, either because they failed to discern the atonement of Christ’s bodily sufferings in their behalf, or because they did not properly love or value their brethren — the body of Christ. This may explain why the contemporary church has lacked strength, or not risen to its full potential in our world, because in many cases it has tried to value His sufferings without appreciating the whole body of Christ — including His children of different congregations or denominations.

As we partake in the Lord’s Supper and consider Christ’s precious sufferings, let us also examine our discernment of His body, the church. Do we love the least of our brothers in our fellowship? Do we harbor grudges or unforgiveness? Do we discern the body of Christ in our neighboring congregations? Do we esteem them and love them as a part of the family of God? Jesus said they are His body — they are the great treasure for which He traded His life, they are in whom He dwells by His Spirit. And whatever value we place upon them, is the value we place upon Christ.

“The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ? For we, being many, are one bread and one body; for we all partake of that one bread” (1 Corinthians 10.16-17).

— 41 —

(1) Be faithful to attend and participate. Obviously you can’t be of much help to your church if you don’t show up or take part. Some people underestimate their value of simply being present. Joining together with others adds to their encouragement, and it encourages the leaders and the pastor who have prayed and prepared all week to minister to you (Hebrew 10.24-25).

I can remember back as a teenager how I “took for granted” those things my parents worked so hard to provide for me. I especially recall an incident where my mother spent her afternoon cooking something special for me for supper. However, preoccupied with something else, I didn’t bother to even show up. How this hurt my mother, to feel that her labor of love was not appreciated. Pastors often feel the same way when their flock doesn’t show up. I can remember times praying and fasting for the needs of our families, working into the late hours to prepare teachings that would stir their souls, only to find their empty seat on Sunday morning. This can discourage God’s man from trying his best.

It helps your pastor and the whole church for you to come faithfully and on time. And don’t merely sit there like a bump on a log. Be friendly, put a smile on your face, and enter into the service by singing and worshiping. You can even utter an audible Amen or two when the pastor makes a good point. Go ahead, it’ll make his day!

(2) Commit yourself to love the Lord and your brethren. The Bible teaches that all the desires of God are condensed into only two cardinal commandments that Jesus gave to His followers. He said, “…You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbour as yourself” (Luke 10.27). By clothing ourselves in God’s love, we help the church to reinforce this objective for every believer, and we also help to eliminate the elements of conflict and division which can hinder the unity of the church. “I… beseech you to have a walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4.1-3).

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(3) Pray for your church and its pastor and leaders. The Apostle Paul explained that it is the duty of Christians to pray for all who are in authority, especially those in spiritual authority. “I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence” (1 Timothy 2.1-2). Your church leaders are on the cutting edge of the battle with Satan, and will face temptations and spiritual conflict unlike anything you could imagine. The devil knows that if he can topple a spiritual leader or get him discouraged enough to quit, it will have a domino effect on the rest of the church. You can be a tremendous help by praying fervently for your church, and especially for the pastor and his family.

Especially helpful, attend the church prayer meetings, where you can come into agreement with others, and where the pastors and leaders can see and feel your prayer support for them and the church. God promised special strength through the combined prayer of His children. “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven” (Matthew 18.19).

(4) Help shoulder the load of responsibility. Pastors and leaders of the church often feel much like Moses did when Israel fought with Amalek. Their arms become weary under the weight of so many responsibilities and they need brothers and sisters to stand beside them and help distribute the load. “But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun” (Exodus 17.12).

The Lord never intended for the whole ministry of the church to be carried solely by the pastor or a mere handful of people. It’s said that the majority of the work is done by the same faithful few, and sadly, this has caused the “burnout” of its many outstanding workers. If everyone would simply pitch in and do their fair share in helping, serving, giving, and so forth, all the needs would be met and no one would be overburdened.

I was once told the story of a young pastor assigned to serve as the minister of a small, rural congregation in a farming community. A part of his assignment was to try to straighten the church’s severe financial problems. For years the church had struggled with its finances, unable to afford a full time pastor or to keep its bills (family) paid.

Upon arrival the pastor examined the church income and realized it would be necessary to find additional employment to supplement his meager salary from the church. There weren’t many job opportunities in the small nearby town, but he was finally hired by the local grain elevator. Most of the people in his church were farmers, and the local grain company happened to be where they all would bring their harvest to sell for market.

A year passed and the church conducted its annual business meeting. When the treasurer read the report of the finances, the congregation could hardly believe what they heard. The church income had more than doubled. All debts had been paid up and there was a surplus of savings in the bank! One church member stood and asked, “Pastor, never in our church history have we ever seen a financial miracle like this. Tell us what you did to change the situation.”

The Pastor replied, “Well, when I first came and looked at the church books, I noticed that only a small portion of the church members were paying their tithes. This was the problem with the finances. So, after I got hired by the grain elevator, every time you all would come and sell your grain I would just automatically deduct your tithe from your check and put it directly into the church account! You never missed the 10 percent, and all the needs of the church were more than met.”

You’ll be relieved to know that most pastors don’t work for grain elevators, and it’s not likely that your employer will secretly deduct your tithe from your wages. However, this story serves to illustrate that if everyone would just do their fair share, all the needs of the body will be met.

Be willing to volunteer for whatever needs to be done and don’t be finicky about what you will or will not do — not just for strokes of attention, but do it for God’s glory. “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might…” (Ecclesiates 9.10).

A church is like any other organization with human resources. No one ever starts out at the top. Everyone knows that we have to start at the “entry level.” But if a believer continues to grow strong in Christian character and proves faithful and responsible to the basic tasks given to them in the church, he or she will likely be promoted to greater responsibility and ministry. “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much” (Luke 16.10).

(5) Get to know your spiritual leaders and cooperate with them. The more you get to know them and their Godly lifestyle, the more you will likely come to trust their leadership. You will have a greater credibility in their teaching and counsel (1 Thessalonians 5.12). Show respect and cooperate with their authority. Avoid challenging their right or worthiness to serve in their position, but accept that God has seen fit to place them in this role (Romans 13.1). Belligerence or antagonism toward leadership may be acceptable in secular society, but there is no place for it in the Lord’s church. “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account…” (Hebrews 13.17).

(6) Apply the teaching and ministry to your life. There’s not much that a pastor loves more than to see his flock practicing what he has preached — living a Godly, holy life, and on their knees seeking the Lord. Learn to appreciate the spiritual values they try to instil in the congregation. “Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern” (Phil 3.17).

Each year there is a national pastor’s appreciation Sunday. Upon learning about this upcoming recognition, one of my members spent time thinking about what he could do to show appreciation toward his pastor. He became inspired to do something quite amazing. Unknown to me, he took the church phone directory and called every member, urging them to come to the weekly church prayer meeting. To my pleasant surprise, the evening of the prayer was unusually packed with people. I was elated that this dear member had discovered precisely what “rings a pastor’s bell.” He understood my value upon spiritual things. As far as I was concerned, there could have been no greater expression of appreciation than this. A pastor doesn’t enter the ministry with the goals of great earthly gain or financial rewards. He enters ministry to bring people to God, to help bring them closer to Him.

It helps your church when you live and conduct yourself in a Christ-like manner. Whether you realize it or, you’re a walking billboard for your church. Whatever the people of your community see in your life, they will tend to identify with your pastor and his flock. Behave yourself and speak well of the church and your pastor. Eyes and ears are always open to the things you say and do.

(7) Seek out and use your gifts. According to the scriptures, the Lord distributes gifts to each in the body as it pleases Him. Spiritual gifts are not provided to you merely for your own gratification, but so the church would be edified or built up. God has given you gifts that will be a help to your church — it is up to you to discover them, develop and utilize them under the direction and cooperation with your spiritual leaders. By doing so, you will glorify God and be a great help to your church. “Even so you, since you are zealous for spiritual gifts, let it be for the edification of the church that you seek to excel” (1 Corinthians 14.12).

(8) Contribute to solutions and not to problems. Every pastor would be thrilled if each of his members got involved and helped the church in some way. However, they would rejoice if certain ones simply stopped being a “pain in the neck.” It’s a shame that pastors spend so much time “putting out fires,” that is, squelching problems that could have a negative influence on the whole body, such as gossip, rumors, complaining, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, discontent and so forth. Regrettably, it has been said that 90% of these kinds of problems are circulated among the same 10% of the people.

Spiritually mature persons who wish to help their church don’t become a part of such problems — instead, they contribute to solutions. They avoid divisive people (Romans 16.17) and don’t get caught up in the mischief or grievances of others (1 Timothy 5.13). If they are aware of spreading problems in the fellowship, they will try to bring a resolution, or else they bring matters to the attention of spiritual leadership so that they can bring an end to it (Matthew 18.15-17). People who wish to be an asset to their church don’t participate with or spread problems — they help spiritual leadership resolve them.

Supervising people involves more than telling them what to do. Effective supervision involves motivation from within the individual, not by externals.

1. Treat them as individuals, not merely as necessary cogs in a wheel. Remember their personal problems, find appropriate times to ask how they or their families are, how the big event went, whether the plumbing problem got fixed.
2. Acknowledge their contributions. Let them be confident that when you pass their suggestions and contributions up the chain of command you will acknowledge the members of your team as the source.
3. Back them up. When things go wrong, the buck stops at your desk. Do not deal with problems by telling your superiors how awful your supervisees are. Tell how you will go about preventing a re-occurrence.
4. Take time for them. When a supervisee comes to you, stop what you are doing, make eye contact. If you can’t be interrupted, immediately set up a later time when you will be able to pay full attention to them. Otherwise people may feel that they are bothersome to you, and you may someday find yourself wondering why no one tells you what is happening in your own department.
5. Let them know that you see their potential and encourage their growth. Encourage learning. Help them to take on extra responsibility, but be available to offer support when they are in unfamiliar territory.
6. Explain why. Provide the information that will give both purpose to their activities and understanding of your requirements. Providing information only on a need-to-know basis may work for the CIA, but it does not build teams.
7. Don’t micro-manage. Let them know the plans and the goals, that you trust them to do their best, and then let them have the freedom to make at least some of the decisions as to how to do what is needed. Morale and creativity nosedive when the flow of work is interrupted by a supervisor checking on progress every two minutes.
8. Let them work to their strengths. We all like to feel good about our work. If we can do something that we do well, we will feel proud. If you believe supervisees need to strengthen areas of weakness, have them work on these, too, but not exclusively.
9. Praise in public, correct in private. NOTHING undermines morale as effectively as public humiliation.
10. Set reasonable boundaries, and empower your supervisees to set theirs. Once set, respect them. This is not a challenge to your power, it is their right as human beings.

— 30 —

To preface my answer to this question, I’ve been privileged to serve as a pastor of several congregations over the course of many years. For another decade before that, I was a guest in the homes of scores of pastors and their families as an itinerant evangelist. My opinions here come from first hand observation and personal experience.

In today’s society, all too often the demands upon a pastor exceed what they really should. The pastor is traditionally considered a church’s head “everything.” He’s the spiritual and administrative head, the sole minister, the legal corporation president — and basically the know-it-all, do-it-all, “chief cook and bottle washer.” In many small churches, the pastor will conduct all the services, lead the singing, do all the preaching, handle all the visiting, counseling and spiritual matters, while he may also have to take care of the office work, bookkeeping, or even the janitorial, maintenance or building repair.

In my years of traveling to hundreds of churches, I found many pastors to be some of hardest working, most versatile, multi-skilled people I have ever met. And for the main part, they pick up all these skills out of the necessity of their circumstances — having no hired staff or few willing volunteers to do these things for them. In too many cases, the pastor has to do far more than he was ever called for or even trained to do.

This really isn’t the way it should be. Ideally the pastor should be the spiritual overseer, devoting his attention to the higher priorities of prayer and ministering the word, while delegating the load of administrative tasks, details and responsibilities to other ministers, elders and deacons.

The early Apostles faced this same dilemma. They received complaints that some of the widows of the church were not being cared for as they should. So they selected qualified persons to delegate these tasks (believed to be the first deacons), so they would not be distracted away from what God had really called them to do — to be men of prayer and of the Word. “…It is not desirable that we should leave the word of God and serve tables. Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; but we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word” (Acts 6.2-4).

The rewards of being a pastor are many. Without question, there is no other position in the world that has a higher honor, than to be called of God to be a pastor. However, it is a vocation of extreme contrasts. It can be sometimes wonderful and sometimes terrible in the same package. Despite potential blessings of leading souls to Christ, the job of pastor is one of the most difficult, agonizing tasks there is.

Some of the greatest challenges of a Pastor are:

(1) Being Misunderstood. For the most part, the life and ministry of a pastor is not understood by the average layman. A policeman once told me the same thing about law enforcement officers. He said, “The only one that really understands what a cop does is another one.” I could relate to what he was trying to say. Sheep really don’t have any idea what it’s like to be a shepherd — only other shepherds. The average layman has little concept what a pastor is, what he really does, the hassles he deals with and so forth.

Being a pastor isn’t a job, it’s what a person is. When God calls a person to be a pastor, He places in him a shepherd’s nature and characteristics — to love and care for his flock. He is a pastor all the time. It’s what he thinks about, what he lives for, his purpose on the earth. It’s not possible for him to go home at the end of a day and leave his job behind the way that most people can. His, is an all consuming task. The pastor is on duty twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. He frequently receives phone calls at home from morning to evening, and often in the middle of the night. Most of his home activities are related to the church. Most social calls or relationships are church related. A large percentage of his conversations with his family involve the church. His home should probably be a refuge to rest or to have a life of his own, but it’s usually the only place he can hide himself long enough from interruptions, to pray for the church or to study for the sermons he must preach there.

(2) Coping with Criticism. Like most other public figures, a pastor and his family live in the public eye, like a “fish bowl” where people watch them constantly, frequently viewing them with criticism and cynicism. People who enter the ministry must be prepared to face much criticism, sometimes of a brutal and cruel nature. However, all those who have risen in leadership or accomplishment know well the sting of their critics. It has been said that “the only way to avoid criticism is to ‘Say nothing, Do nothing, and Be nothing.”

People frequently find disappointment with pastors, largely due a lack of understanding of what pastors do. Rarely does a church ever have a written job description for their senior pastor, and if they do, it’s usually too vague to help much. And it seems that so many have a different opinion of what they think the pastor should do. They usually hand him the keys to the church and assume that he’ll take care of everything that needs to be done — without realizing the hundreds of details that it all may require.

(3) Faced with an Overwhelming Task. It’s been said that 80% of the work of the church is done by 20% of the people. But when we realize that the majority of American churches have fewer than 100 people, you can imagine that the pastor and his family often make up a great portion of that 20%. As we have mentioned, in many of those churches, the pastor is often faced with having to do jobs he was never trained for — everything from plumbing to desktop publishing… and besides this, he also must be the well studied preacher and teacher. Beyond these demands, his life will be one of constant distractions, receiving dozens of calls and letters each day, and expected always to drop anything he’s doing to sympathize, counsel, or encourage those who ask his help. The pastor seldom has enough time to do everything — time is always one of his greatest needs.

I can remember being in many a pastor’s home, joining with him in tearful prayers for God to send helpers, workers and finances to lift the heavy load on him and his family. Ironically, I would think back to one of my college textbooks on church administration — it was written on the lofty example of a congregation numbering 1,000 in attendance, with a staff of dozens, though to my knowledge not one of those students went on to pastor a church of that size. Many pastors will never know what it is to have a paid staff, and must pray for volunteers to train and delegate responsibilities. Unfortunately, for most churches, the pastor wears more hats than he should endure, physically and emotionally. According to researcher George Barna, among the most discouraging aspects for pastors is the extensive range of duties they must fulfill that exceed their mix of gifts and talents.¹

Author James Rutz says that the average pastor often feels overwhelmed and lonely in his task. “He beats out his brains in the pulpit week after week to make a difference in people’s lives. But sometimes he feels like he’s been condemned to a lifetime of futility, trying in vain to motivate a sullen pack of foot dragging spiritual adolescents who never quite seem to see the big picture, never get excited enough to shoulder responsibilities, and never come anywhere close to a full 10% tithe.”²

(4) Resisting Manipulation . For many, this will sound unbelievable. But the pastor is a frequent target of manipulation and control. Sometimes people unintentionally take advantage of a pastor’s willing heart, and make requests and demands that begin to dominate his personal life. And then there are others who view the pastor like a politician, trying to lobby his favor or influence to attain a position, to favor their opinion, etc. But there are those who have a definite personality profile that feeds on being in control, and if they can’t get the pastor to do what they want, they’ll often turn on him and try to run him out. A prominent pastor once said, “There’s an old saying about pastors: If they can’t run God’s man, they’ll try to ruin him.”

Because of this or other sour experiences with people, pastors will sometimes distance themselves from close personal relationships. They may even refuse favors or monetary gifts directly from persons, unless they are given anonymously, since such gifts often have strings attached — perhaps unintentionally, the giver will often expect preferred treatment, recognition, or to have a “special influence” in the pastor’s decisions.

(5) Coping with Emotional Conflict. During the ministry of a pastor he will face challenges and strange conflicts in his emotions that he was never prepared for. This unique man most likely entered the ministry out of his divine calling, and his love for people. But he was probably surprised to learn that shepherding people was a life filled with wounds, hurts, and disappointment.

As the pastor faces his daily tasks, he will begin a ride an emotional roller-coaster. With each person he counsels or prays with, he will experience a momentary bond with their circumstances or burdens. During the course of a day he may console someone with a terminal illness, listen to trivial complaints, meet with a couple to discuss their marriage plans, or find it necessary to correct someone for their sinful lifestyle. He will go from one contrasting situation to another, and then within a short period, he will have to find a way to restore his composure from all these concerns to preach an encouraging, heartfelt sermon to the congregation.

Most others who deal with repeated crisis or trauma eventually learn how to develop a callousness in order to cope with the emotional upheaval of their jobs. Paramedics, police officers, or emergency room workers understand this all too well. However, when a pastor deals with a daily assortment of similar urgencies, unlike other emergency workers, he cannot distance his feelings from crisis. He cannot allow himself to become callous to protect his emotions from becoming involved. It’s the nature of his calling and his job to care. His flock expects him to be sensitive, a person of genuine compassion, to feel their hurts and to share their burdens.

(6) Coping with Disappointment. Furthermore, during his ministry, he will experience many disappointments and heartaches with people. Many will fail to do what they promised and disappoint him. Others will criticize, judge, speak against him, betray him or even seek to ruin him or his family. Some will try to gain his friendship for ulterior motives — to manipulate his influence for their own agenda. Many he loves will eventually leave the church for some reason… some will move away, others may backslide, become offended, or simply reject his ministry. Dozens of times, he will experience the loss of beloved members of the flock through death. Many, many are the wounds of a shepherd, that the flock never really understands.

(7) Dealing with Satanic Attack. The pastor and his family are targets of Satan’s greatest attacks. The enemy’s strategy is highly intelligent. If he can overturn the shepherd with temptations or trials, he can likely scatter the sheep. According to insurance statistics, ministers experience an unusually high rate of stress related illnesses (such as ulcers and nervous conditions), depression, marital difficulties, conflict with their children or family, financial problems, and so on. To complicate matters further, if he does face such challenges, some will criticize him as a spiritual failure.

(8) Perseverance. There will be numerous temptations for the pastor to simply quit. He must be a person of tremendous faith and prayer to overcome the many challenges — to set his face as a stone, with unflinching determination and steadfastness. The average layman will never realize the price his pastor must pay to be his shepherd — the heartaches he will endure to minister to men’s souls. Jesus, the Great Shepherd was a man acquainted with grief and sorrow, despised and rejected, and His under-shepherds and pastors also identify with these characteristics. How necessary it is that we pray for him, encourage him, show him love and not add to his list of wounds.

¹ Today’s Pastors, George Barna
² The Open Church, James H. Rutz

— 38 —
A constitution and bylaws is required of any church which seeks to qualify for legal recognition as a nonprofit organization. The document, usually configured in legal terminology, is composed by the organizers of the church to describe the governing rules by which the church is organized and administrated, and to describe their beliefs and mission.

Jargon infects most groups, but is particularly concerning in religious ones.

Defined as “special words or expressions that are used by a particular profession or group and are difficult for others to understand,” jargon can also be thought of as “shoptalk.”

Imagine, for example, you were hospitalized and happened to overhear your doctor tell another, “He had a syncopal episode last night without any evidence of arrhythmia. I don’t think it was vagal but I ordered a 2D echo and holter. I still can’t rule out a vertebrobasilar event.” You’d probably struggle to make sense of what you heard. Yet this is what some church members and all church guests experience on a regular basis; during most of my church visits — regardless of denomination — I hear Christian jargon. (And though this column deals with the problem from a Christian perspective, I’ve heard jargon used in many other religious contexts too.) Jargon needs to be replaced by plain and simple speaking.

This week I’m sharing some clear examples of how religious jargon can confuse and confound many who hear it.

If you were a new church visitor and heard the term “love offering” for the first time, what would you think? Maybe offering oneself in some love ceremony? Yet many churches use this term shamelessly in services and mailings without thinking what it might mean to those who hear it without the benefit of a church background. Sometimes it’s used to describe taking an offering to support a visiting pastor. Or it may be used to signal this is a time to donate for a special gift for the pastor, usually on an annual basis.

And while we’re still on the term love, how about hearing “we just want to love on our pastor” or “love on our kids”? Those phrases give me the willies. One can only imagine what must be going on in the minds of first-time guests, especially with sexual misconduct and pedophilia issues these days. Use plain English, not these code words.

What do you think about when you hear Gospel? Many people use this term in everyday conversation having no idea of what it means, besides saying, “it’s the Gospel truth.” They’ve just heard it before so they’re repeating what they’ve heard. However, Jesus used this term to describe his ministry of reconciling man to God.

The title of this writing may seem to be rather unusual. After all, we would suppose the church to be a safe place – right? However, unfortunately, the church has sometimes been a place where many have experienced wounds instead of healing. In fact, statistics show that a great percentage of persons who cease attending church, do so because of some type of offense or injury to their feelings that happened there. Sometimes these occur because of the insensitivity of the church; other times, people are themselves at fault for being too touchy or sensitive to misunderstandings.

In any case, it is sad that such experiences ever occur, because the church is an indispensable part of the believer’s life. Not only does it provide a place to worship, serve and learn about God, but it is also a community where believers can practice love toward their brethren as the Bible requires; “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1.7).

Whatever you do, don’t give up on the church. God requires you to be faithful to it and to be accountable to its spiritual leaders. (See Hebrews 10.25; 13.17). If you have been hurt there, don’t run away – but equip yourself with the protection of God’s Word. You may not be able to stop offensive things from happening, but by applying God’s principles you can stop them from hurting you. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalms 119.165 KJV).

(1) Avoid developing unreasonable expectations of the church — “My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him” (Psalms 62.5).

The definition of disappointment is “the failure to attain one’s expectations.” Don’t expect things from the church or the minister that they can’t deliver, or that the Bible doesn’t teach for them to do. Many expectations have to do with preconceived “traditions” which we have come to associate with a church, perhaps from another fellowship we once attended or grew up in, etc. It’s a good idea to meet with the pastor and ask what you can expect of his ministry and the church.

Occasionally people get disappointed when they find out their church can’t supply all their earthly needs. Most ministers and churches do attempt to help people in every way they can – especially the needy during crisis and emergencies. But some people come to expect the church to meet all their material needs or pay their bills like the early church did. Unfortunately, this just isn’t possible unless everyone agrees to sell all their property and possessions and give them to the church like the early believers (Acts 4.34-35). Most churches would be blessed if everyone merely paid their tithes, however statistics show that only a small percentage of churchgoers give a full tithe regularly.

Neither is it realistic to expect the pastor to spend all his time with you, to attend every social function, or for him to show you constant attention. Instead, learn to place your expectations upon God — He will always be faithful to His promises in His Word and will never let you down.

(2) Don’t place an absolute trust in people —   “Thus says the LORD: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD” (Jeremiah 17.5).

Come to terms with the fact that everyone is human and will fail you at sometime or another. Even the pastor will make mistakes. The only one you can trust entirely without fail is God.

Realizing that any human can fall short, the degree of trust we place in people must be limited and will depend on their track record. The more we get to know a person’s character and the history of their behaviour, we’ll be able to determine how trustworthy they are. This is one of the reasons why the scriptures tell us to get to know our pastors and spiritual leaders — so from their godly lifestyle, we’ll be able to trust their leadership. “And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you.” (1 Thessalonians 5.12).

There’s a difference between “love” and “trust.” It’s possible to love and forgive someone, without placing an absolute trust in them. To illustrate this, let’s say there’s a school bus driver who has a drinking problem. One day while transporting a load of children he becomes intoxicated, wrecks the bus and kills all the children. As the lone survivor of the crash, he turns to the church to seek God’s forgiveness for this horrible act of irresponsibility. If he repents of his sin, will God forgive him? Absolutely. Should the church love and forgive this person? Of course. And what if he would then like to volunteer to drive the church bus for us? Do we trust him? Absolutely not! It would be unthinkable to put a person in the driver’s seat who has shown such recent negligence. Certainly, we love and forgive him, but because of this man’s poor track record, we could not risk the lives of our passengers. Over a long period of sobriety and safe driving, this person may be able to prove that he is again reliable or trustworthy.

Remember that love and forgiveness is granted unconditionally, but trust must be “earned.” Trust is the acquired confidence in a person’s actions. We certainly can, and should trust persons who show trustworthy behavior, but because all men have the potential for failure, we should never put an infallible sense of trust in anyone but God.

(3) Focus on common ground — “Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1 Corinthians 1.10).

Avoid becoming highly opinionated. Opinions are the interpretations and ideas of men, which if constantly pressed on other people, can cause division or promote sinful debates and quarrels (Romans 1.29). Opinionated people are prone to get hurt when others disagree with them.

The Bible teaches for all Christians to “speak the same thing” so that there will be unity in the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 1.10). The only way such unity is possible, is for Christians to focus on the common ground of Christ and His Word. That is, we need to “say what the Word says,” to let the Word speak for itself and not try to promote divisive opinions about it. In scripture, we see that Paul instructed Timothy to “Preach the Word,” not his opinions (2 Timothy 4.2). A preacher is intended be a delivery boy of God’s message, not a commentator of the message. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job (1 John 2.27).

Similarly, at one time the news media was required to comply with a very strict code of ethics. They were to report the facts of the news accurately without adding their opinion or commentary. However, as time has passed, news reporting has become less factual and more opinionated — corrupted with rumors and gossip rather than real information. Reporters have evolved into commentators which manipulate what people think about the news. Like reporters, preachers need to stick with the facts.

Naturally every believer has his or her own convictions about a great many things, but if you continually try to push your opinions on others, conflict will eventually emerge. Avoid controversy over scriptures which are vague and foster many interpretations — stand fast upon those common, basic truths — Jesus, His life, death and resurrection — and don’t add to what God’s Word says. “Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. Do not add to His words, lest He reprove you, and you be found a liar” (Prov. 30:5-6).

(4) Don’t expect any church to be perfect — “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.” (Romans 7.18-19)

It is remarkable to consider that the Apostle Paul — the great author of scripture — openly confessed that he was not perfect. Like us, he experienced struggles in his flesh to do the right things. If one of the leading authors of scripture and apostles of the early church admitted to this, it should not seem too strange if we find other brothers and sisters in the church struggling with imperfections too.

Since churches are made up of people like you and me who have imperfections, there will never be such a thing as a perfect church. Unless people understand this, they’ll have an unrealistic view of the church, and will eventually become disillusioned and hurt.

One of the jobs of the church ministry is to help perfect the saints — like a spiritual hospital, where people go to get well. Instead of resenting persons in the church for their flaws, be thankful they’re there trying to grow in Christ to get better. Learn to love and accept people for what they are — they’re not any more perfect than you are.

Just as it has been said of beauty, imperfection is in the eye of the beholder. A person with a negative attitude can find fault wherever they wish. In contrast the person with a positive outlook can always find the good and beauty in things. The well adjusted person in the church should seek out the good and encouraging things as the Bible teaches (Phil. 4:8). Those who dwell on the negative or continually find fault with the church will eventually get hurt.

(5) Don’t seek to promote yourself or your own agenda — “Do not lift up your horn on high; Do not speak with a stiff neck. For exaltation comes neither from the east Nor from the west nor from the south. But God is the Judge: He puts down one, And exalts another” (Psalms 75.5-7).

Have a humble and meek attitude like Christ (Matthew 11.29, Romans 12.3). Besides being obnoxious, pride and arrogance will set you up for a fall (Proverbs 16.18). Don’t promote yourself, campaign or strive to attain an appointed or elected position. God is the one who puts persons in such positions, and unless He does it, stay away from it. Lift up the Lord in all that you say and all you do. Don’t boast or talk about yourself. “He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who seeks the glory of the One who sent Him is true, and no unrighteousness is in Him” (John 7.18).

Avoid an attitude of competition which creates conflict in unity. A competitive attitude compares self with others, and strives to rise above that comparison (2 Corinthians 10.12). The philosophy of Christianity is not to try to outdo one another, but to submit to and lift up one another (Ephesians 5.21). We are even told to “prefer” our brother above ourselves. “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another” (Romans 12.10). Competition between churches and Christians is divisive and contrary to the faith.

Don’t expect to receive preferential treatment or to get your way about everything. The Bible teaches that favouritism is wrong, and the church will try to make decisions and do things in the best interest of the whole congregation, not just a certain few. “…but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors” (James 2.9). If you do things for the church or give generous offerings, do it to bring glory to God, not to bring attention to yourself or to gain influence (Colossians 3.17). The Bible even says that when you give charitable offerings, do it anonymously so to gain God’s approval, not merely man’s (Matthew 6.1).

Avoid the trap of presuming that your opinions are always divinely inspired or are indisputable. Share your suggestions and ideas with church leaders, but don’t press your opinions or personal agenda. Sometimes, persons feel that all their ideas come from God. They may attempt to add clout to their suggestions or complaints by saying “God told me so.” Indeed, God does speak to His children, but you will not be the exclusive source through which God reveals himself in a matter. If your opinions really come from God, the Bible says that others will bear witness with it, especially His pastors and leaders (2 Corinthians 13.1, 1 Corinthians 14.29). (You won’t even have to invoke God’s name — they’ll be able to tell if your ideas came from Him. Be cautious, lest you find yourself using His name falsely, a very dangerous thing — Exodus 20.7). Pastors are His representatives in His ordained chain of command, and if He wants to get something across to His church, He’ll bear witness with the persons in charge.

(6) Avoid blaming the church for personal problems — “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26.3).

When you go to church, you should try to dissociate the church from the other personal problems you deal with. The majority of hurt feelings in a church result from wounds and sensitivities people carry in with them. This kind of emotional distress can create “distorted perceptions” which may prevent you from seeing reality the same way others do. Such things as a low self esteem, abuse as a child, marital problems, personal offenses, family conflict, a root of bitterness, health problems or job dissatisfaction can twist your interpretation of words and actions. You may imagine that people don’t like you (paranoia), or misinterpret well-intended words as an offense. Trivial problems will seem like big problems. Blame for unhappiness may be transferred to the church, its leaders or the people. You may lash out against others or be quick to find fault with the church. Remember this: Don’t jump to conclusions over anything, because things are usually not as bad as they seem.

(7) Treat others as you wish to be treated — “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7.12).

Human beings tend to be “reciprocal” creatures. That is, they reflect the way they are treated. This is why Jesus gave us the Golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you.” The way that most people interact with you is as a direct result of how you interact with them. If you have a frown on your face, you won’t get many smiles. If you offer friendliness, it will usually be offered back (Proverbs 18.24). Be gracious, encouraging, and a blessing for others to be around. If you have a negative, critical attitude toward people it will tend to generate their critical attitude toward you. “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6.37).

Many hurt feelings can be avoided if we will realize that people usually react to how we deal with them. Take a close examination at the way you say things, or even how much you talk. “…a fool’s voice is known by his many words” (Ecclesiastes 5.3). Don’t be rude and impolite. Check your attitude that you’re not overbearing and bossy — people will be turned off and will seek to avoid you.

(8) Have a teachable, cooperative attitude — “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13.17).

The Bible teaches believers to be cooperative and submissive to their spiritual leaders — something that’s not possible unless the believer is committed to a church and accountable to a local pastor. Accountability to a godly shepherd is a part of God’s order for the spiritual growth of every Christian. God’s Word gives the pastor authority to organize and maintain order of the church, and to teach God’s truth, to correct, and to discipline when necessary to hold his flock accountable to biblical principles. In Paul’s encouragement to ministers, he stated, “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching” (2 Timothy 4.2). (See also 2 Timothy 3.16, Titus 2.15, 1 Timothy 5.20.)

A lack of proper respect toward authority is a common problem today. People don’t want to be told what to do, or be corrected if they are wrong. This is one reason why the modern church is turning out so many immature believers. When some people hear something they don’t like, or are corrected in some way, they simply pack up and go to another church down the street, or church-hop until they find one that says things they like to hear. “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers” (2 Timothy 4.3).

As long as you are a part of any particular church, you must come to accept that the pastor and leaders are in charge there. Regardless of how unqualified you might think they are, God recognizes them as the authority in that body and will hold them accountable to that responsibility. Consequently, God holds you accountable to respect their authority, to pray for them, and to cooperate — not to be defiant and rebellious.

Always be cooperative, willing to humble yourself. If you have a rigid, inflexible attitude in the church you will probably get hurt.

(9) Don’t oppose or hinder the church — “These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren” (Proverbs 6.16-19).

One of the things that God dislikes most are those who sow discord — who create division and strife in the body of Christ. Don’t be a gossip, a complainer, or stir up turmoil. If you’re displeased with the church in some way, offer your help to make improvements, pray for it, or as a last resort, find another church you’re happier with — but never become a source of agitation or hindrance.

Don’t badmouth a man of God — if you do so, you’re asking for problems. One time when Paul was punished for preaching the Gospel, he unknowingly condemned Ananias, the high priest, who had ordered the apostle slapped. However, when Paul realized who he was, he apologized for speaking against Ananias, knowing that it’s forbidden to speak against God’s representative — despite the fact that Ananias’ treatment of Paul was in error (Acts 23.5). It is a serious matter to “touch” God’s anointed — either with our words or our actions. Imperfect as they may sometimes be, they are His representatives. “He permitted no one to do them wrong; Yes, He reproved kings for their sakes, Saying, “Do not touch My anointed ones, And do My prophets no harm” (Psalms 105.14-15).

If a minister has done you wrong in some way, don’t incriminate yourself by responding in an unbiblical manner — don’t lash out against him, retaliate with rumours against him, or run him down behind his back. You should go and confront him privately according to the scriptural fashion described in Matthew 18.15-17. If the first and second attempts do not bring a resolution, take the matter to the spiritual body, such as the church board, or denominational overseers to whom he is accountable — any correction or discipline should be left to them. Keep in mind, an accusation against a minister is a serious matter and will not be accepted unless the matter can be substantiated by other witnesses (1 Timothy 5.19).

When things are not as they should be in the church or with its leadership, there are honorable ways to help promote improvements or resolve inequities. However, it’s unethical to oppose the church or attack its leadership, and persons who do will likely end up hurt, bitter or possibly worse.

(10) Be committed to forthrightness and truth — “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. “But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector” (Matthew 18.15-17).

When someone has wronged you, Jesus says that you are to first go to them and confront them privately between yourselves. Most offenses in the church result from misunderstandings, and many could be quickly resolved if offended parties would just go to the source and find out the facts. Unfortunately, some offended people will just absorb the offense silently, while growing bitter and resentful. It is important to God, and a matter of obedience to His Word, that such issues are confronted so that (1) you will not become bitter and withdraw from the church, (2) that the offender is held accountable to not repeat his offenses which could harm the faith of others, and (3) so that the offender who has perpetrated sin might be reconciled with God. If they are uncooperative with your first private effort, you are to try a second time, taking witnesses with you. Finally, if no success, turn it over to church leadership.

You should never take one side of a story and accept it as fact without verifying it with the other party. There are always two sides to a story. The scriptures address this very problem, that before we believe a rumour, we are to investigate thoroughly, to verify all the facts. “…then you shall inquire, search out, and ask diligently… if it is indeed true and certain that such an abomination was committed among you…” (Deuteronomy 13.14).

Without doubt, it is not possible to have a relationship with a group of people without occasional misunderstandings and offenses. And unless you will commit yourself to confront these issues in the way Jesus described, you will become hurt in the church.

(11) Be devoted to love and forgiveness — “He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him” (1 John 2.10).

Christians will avoid a lot of problems if they will just commit themselves to an unconditional love for their brethren. The practice of loving the brethren — all the brethren, not just the lovable ones — keeps us from stumbling. Never forget that Jesus takes personally how we entreat our Christian brothers and sisters. When we love even the “least” of our brethren, Jesus accepts that love toward Himself (Matthew 25.40). You cannot love the Lord any more than you love the least in the body of Christ. “If someone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” (1 John 4.20).

Be quick to forgive and don’t hold grudges. Unforgiveness and bitterness is one of the greatest reasons why people get hurt in the church and probably the greatest cause of apostasy — falling away. Remember that unforgiveness is one of your greatest enemies. If you refuse to forgive, it will prevent God’s forgiveness of your sins and could keep you out of Heaven. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6.14-15).

(12) Don’t get caught up in the offenses of others —  “Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbour, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend” (Psalms 15.1-3).

One of the great characteristics of the body of Christ is to care about the burdens and sufferings of one another. However, as we seek to console and encourage friends that have been offended, we may be tempted to take up their offense against another. In sympathy, we may tend to take their part against the pastor, the church or whoever they blame for the offense. This is very unwise and an unscriptural thing to do, considering that your friend may be the cause of his own offense. His hurt feelings may be due to a misunderstanding, a difference of opinion, his own rebellious attitude, emotional instability — or he may be childish and immature. There are always two sides to a story, and only an idiot develops an opinion based on one side or without all the facts.

Sometimes offended persons will seek sympathy from naive, listening ears. They go about pleading their case, pouring out their bleeding-heart of injustice to those sincere, tenderhearted persons who will listen. Their goal is to seek out persons who will coddle them, support their opinion and take up their offense against the offending party. You should love and encourage a friend with hurt feelings, but reserve your opinion and avoid taking sides, lest you find yourself a partaker in other men’s sins, or you also become offended and hurt with the church.

(13) Don’t personalize everything that’s preached — Obviously, every pastor preaches with the hope that everyone will take the message personally and apply it to his or her own life. “If the shoe fits, wear it.” However, there are always a few who think the minister is pointing his sermon specifically at them. This is a common misunderstanding which causes persons to get hurt.

Feelings of personal focus from a sermon may occur if persons are (1) under conviction about a particular matter, (2) especially self-conscious, (3) under emotional distress, (4) if they spend a lot of time counseling with the pastor, or (5) if he has previously corrected them or hurt their feelings in some way. Keep in mind, a pulpit preacher doesn’t focus his attention solely upon one person. His concern is for the broad range of people in attendance.

Occasionally persons think their pastor focuses on them, the same way they focus on him. When a pastor stands in front of a congregation week after week, they develop a feeling of close friendship with him — they come to know personal details of his life, his family, and other traits. However, even if the pastor knows each person in his flock, it’s not really possible for him to concentrate on each with the same detail that they do on him. It’s easy for dozens of people to know him well, but not realistic for him to know dozens of people in the same way. Consequently, some develop the illusion that the pastor focuses on them when he preaches — that he remembers their personal details in the same way they remember his. But the pastor has too many other people to consider. He counsels with dozens of people, hears scores of similar problems and details. It’s not likely he will single someone out and preach at them, while trying to minister to the whole congregation. If there’s something specific that the pastor needs to say only to you, he will deliver it to you personally, in private — not in subtle hints from his sermon.

Besides this, it is the job of the Holy Spirit to personalize God’s Word to us so that we’ll examine ourselves and search our own hearts. When the Lord is dealing with us about His Word, it may seem like the pastor is speaking directly to us. Sometimes the Holy Spirit may even direct the preacher to unwittingly say things that may pertain specifically to us. The best attitude to have is to listen to each message objectively. In every sermon from the Bible, God has something to say to all of us. Be open to whatever the Lord would have to say, willing to accept His correction or guidance. Defensiveness is usually a sign of resistance to conviction.

It is my prayer that these principles will help and encourage you in your relationship with the church. If you been injured there or have merely strayed away, I urge you to find God’s grace to forgive those who may have hurt you and return to the fellowship of God people. As challenging as it may seem sometimes, the church is Christ’s plan for His people, and it is there that He will develop and mature you into a fully equipped disciple of His kingdom.

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This term has become used in recent years to describe a type of church which has abnormal, dysfunctional characteristics. There are scores of people who have been deeply wounded by an experience with such a church. It seems that most communities have a congregation that fits in this category. They identify themselves as Christians and may have good intentions of practicing scriptural ideals, but they seem to continually strive with combined elements of unbalanced or unorthodox doctrines, controversial government, disciplinary problems, irresponsible leadership — which result in explosive turmoil, division, wounded and confused sheep, and a derogatory reputation in their community.

A dysfunctional church has sometimes been mislabeled as a cult. The difference is, a cult is on a course of heresy based on misguided beliefs. However a dysfunctional church may theoretically be based on the right course of Christianity, but for the main part does not function the way it should. Keep in mind, every church has its share of problems — that does not make it dysfunctional. But it’s when such problems dominate the church and actually cause its influence to become ineffectual or negative for the cause of Christ.

I regret to say that over my years of ministry I have come across situations in churches that seem almost unbelievable. One such church was widely reputed in the area for its continual controversy. The congregation was constantly fighting and contending with each other — the turmoil had produced several splits over a period of years. Every few months they would go on a tangent of promoting some new revelation or doctrine, which would often be refuted later as heresy. There were repeated occurrences of immorality among the leadership and congregation. Divorce within the church occurred 10 times more frequent than the rate of marriages. There were numerous financial scandals, alleged embezzlements by the pastors, and scores of church creditors left unpaid. Rumors, accusations, and slander were commonplace, causing injury and devastation to scores of individuals. The mere mention of the church name to local merchants or residents would invoke ridicule. Some might have presumed this to be some kind of weird cult, but it was not. In reality this was a dysfunctional Christian church.

A dysfunctional church will usually manifest several or all of the following symptoms:

• 1. Unethical or immoral behavior tolerated in either leadership or laity.
  2. An absence of teaching or correction in matters of sin.
  3. Dictatorial or unethical church leadership or government.
  4. A failure to recognize practical spiritual priorities.
  5. Too much emphasis on esoteric thought or theory rather than practical ideals and application.
  6. Unscriptural or unbalanced preaching and teaching.
  7. Too much emphasis upon the superficial or sensational.
  8. Irresponsibility in business matters or in public relations.
  9. Isolation from the rest of the body of Christ.
  10. A sense of confusion and a lack of purpose by the congregation.
  11. An absence of spiritual fruit (Galatians 5.22-23).

A dysfunctional church must be brought in order, otherwise it will cause irreparable harm for the cause of Christ in a community. If such a church has denominational affiliation, experienced ministers and officials may be sent to try to restore the fellowship back into scriptural order and stability. However, if the chaos is severe enough and resists repeated remedies, they might find it necessary to actually the close the church, temporarily or permanently.

In many cases, a church of this kind can be put in order by:

(1) Mature, godly, stable leadership. I regret to say that the problem of a dysfunctional church usually begins with a problem in the leadership. A congregation cannot rise above the level of their leaders.

(2) Scriptural, balanced preaching and teaching. The healthy church must get back on track with scriptural order. They need to hear the whole counsel of God’s Word, not merely pet doctrines or narrow minded opinions (2 Timothy 2.15).

(3) A patient application of love and correction. Just like parents, spiritual leaders must show the encouragement of love toward their flock. And they must be willing to confront sin with correction or discipline when necessary. (Ephesians 4.15, 2 Timothy 3.16, 2 Timothy 4.2).

(4) Breaking of spiritual strongholds. A stronghold can usually be identified when the same troubling characteristics continue year after year, although the faces within the congregation change. This problem has to be dealt with through intensive prayer and spiritual authority (2 Corinthians 10.4-5).

(5) Congregational repentance and revival. Some of the problems in a church cannot really be resolved until the people are willing to humble themselves before God and seek repentance and revival: “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7.14).

If you find yourself in a dysfunctional church, it is important for you to recognize it for what it is. If you can remain without impairing the spiritual progress of you or your family, do so that you can pray for and support the needed remedies listed above. But if your spiritual well-being begins to suffer, it may be best to cut your ties and move on to a healthy fellowship.

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This accusation has been around even since the times of Christ, but is a misunderstanding of scriptures which use symbolic language, such as is seen here: “Then Jesus said to them, Most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you” (John 6.53).

Obviously, Jesus was not inviting his followers to literally eat his body and blood, but was speaking metaphorically of Himself as the Passover lamb, describing a spiritual nourishing which would be provided from His atonement. Later, during His last supper, Jesus served bread and grape juice to his disciples as symbols of His broken body and shed blood, to show how the value of His sufferings must be consumed spiritually within and become a part of every believer.

In 1215, the Roman Catholic Church embraced the idea of “transubstantiation,” which is the belief that during Holy Communion, the bread and juice actually turn into the blood and body of Jesus. However, there is no evidence to support this idea in scripture.