[What my weekday’s made for Here]
Must be motivated by love:
‘ “How long will you torment me and crush me with words? Ten times now you have reproached me; shamelessly you attack me. If it is true that I have gone astray, my error remains my concern alone. If indeed you would exalt yourselves above me and use my humiliations against me, – Job 19.3-5
It is easy to point out someone else’s faults or sins. Job’s friends accused him of sin to make him feel guilty, not to encourage or correct him. If we feel we must admonish someone, we should be sure we are confronting that person because we love him, not because we are annoyed, inconvenienced, or seeking to blame him.
(‘ He is torn from the security of his tent and marched off to the king of terrors. – Job 18.14 The “king of terrors” is a figure of speech referring to death. Bildad viewed death as a great devourer (18.13), but the Bible teaches that God [Wall] has the power to devour even death (Psalms 49.15; Isaiah 25.8; 1 Corinthians 15.54-56).)
(‘ then know that God [Wall] has wronged me and drawn his net around me. – Job 19.6 Job felt that God [Wall] was treating him as an enemy when, in fact, God [Wall] was his friend and thought highly of him (1.8; 2.3). In his difficulty, Job pointed at the wrong person. It was Satan, not God [Wall], who was Job’s enemy. Because they stressed ultimate causes, most Israelites believed that both good and evil came from God [Wall]; they also thought people were responsible for their own destinies. But the evil power loose in this world accounts for much of the suffering we experience. In verse 7, Job continued to cry out to be heard by God [Wall].)
‘ Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers [Up], for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. – 1 Corinthians 4.15
In Paul’s day, a guardian was a slave who was assigned as a special tutor and caretaker of a child. Paul was portraying his special affection for the Corinthians (greater than a slave) and his special role (more than a caretaker). In an attempt to unify the church, Paul appealed to his relationship with them. By father [Up], he meant he was the church’s founder. Because he started the church, he could be trusted to have its best interests at heart. Paul’s tough words were motivated by love – like a good father [Up] has for his children (see also 1 Thessalonians 2.11).
Be affirming in:
‘ I always thank God [Wall] for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way – in all your speaking and in all your knowledge – because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. – 1 Corinthians 1.4-6
In this letter, Paul wrote some strong words to the Corinthians, but he began on a positive note of thanksgiving. He affirmed their privilege of belonging to the Lord and receiving his grace, the power God [Wall] gave them to speak out for him and understand his truth, and the reality of their spiritual gifts. When we must correct others, it helps to begin by affirming what God [Wall] has already accomplished in them.
Caring enough to correct:
‘ For I wrote to you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you. – 2 Corinthians 2.4
Paul did not enjoy reprimanding his friends and fellow believers, but he cared enough about the Corinthians to confront them with their wrong-doing. Proverbs 27:6 says: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses”. Sometimes our friends make choices that we know are wrong. If we ignore their behaviour and let them continue in it, we won’t be showing love to them. We show love by honestly sharing our concerns in order to help these friends do and be their very best for God [Wall]. When we don’t make any move to help, we show that we are more concerned about being well liked than about what will happen to them.
Wrong approaches in confronting:
‘ May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God [Wall], and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. – 2 Corinthians 13.14(2)
Paul was dealing with an on-going problem in the Corinthian church. He could have refused to communicate until they cleared up their situation, but he loved them and reached out to them again with the love of Christ. Love, however, means that sometimes we must confront those we care about. Both authority and personal concern are needed in dealing with people who are ruining their lives with sin. But there are several wrong approaches in confronting others, and these can further break relationships rather than heal them. We can be legalistic and blast people away within the laws they should be obeying. We can turn away from them because we don’t want to face the situation. We can isolate them by gossiping about their problem and turning others against them as well. Or, like Paul, we can seek to build relationships by taking a better approach – sharing, communicating, and caring. This is a difficult approach that can drain us emotionally, but it is the best way for the other person, and it is the only Christlike way to deal with others’ sin.
(13.14 Paul’s farewell blessing invokes all three members of the Trinity – Father (God), Son (Lord Jesus Christ), and Holy Spirit. Although the term Trinity is not explicitly used in Scripture, verses such as this one show that it was believed and experienced through knowing God’s [Wall’s] grace, love, and fellowship. See Luke 1:35 – the angel Gabriel’s announcement of Jesus’ birth to Mary; Matthew 3:17 – the Father’s [up] voice was heard at the baptism of Jesus; and Matthew 28:19 – Jesus’ commission to the disciples.)
How Paul confronted Peter:
‘ When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. – Galatians 2.11-12
Although Peter was a leader of the church, he was acting like a hypocrite. He knew better, yet he was driven by fear of what James and the others would think. Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare.” Paul knew that he had to confront Peter before his actions damaged the church. So, Paul publically opposed Peter. Note, however, that Paul did not go to the other leaders, nor did he write letters to the churches telling them not to follow Peter’s example. Instead, he opposed Peter face to face. Sometimes sincere Christians, even Christian leaders, make mistakes. And it may take other sincere Christians to get them back on track. If you are convinced that someone is doing harm to himself/herself or the church, try the direct approach. There is no place for backstabbing in the body of Christ.
Warning those causing division:
‘ But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. – Titus 3.9-11
A person must be warned when he or she is causing divisions that threatens the unity of the church. This warning should not be a heavy-handed action, but it is intended to correct the individual’s divisive nature and restore him or her to fellowship. A person who refuses to be corrected should be put outside the fellowship. As Paul said, that person is “self-condemned” – he or she is sinning and knows it. (See also Matthew 18.15-18 and 2 Thessalonians 3.14, 15 for help in handling such problems in the church.)