Achieving oneness in:
‘ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man.”
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. – Genesis 2.18-24
God’s [Wall’s] creative work was not complete until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he made man. God [Wall] chose, however, to make her from the man’s flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. This is a mystical union of the couple’s hearts and lives. Throughout the Bible, God [Wall] treats this special partnership seriously. If you are marriage or planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment that makes the two of you one? The goal in marriage should be more than friendship; it should be oneness.
(‘ And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” – Genesis 2.16, 17 Why would God [Wall] place a tree in the garden and then forbid Adam to eat from it? God [Wall] wanted Adam to obey, but God [Wall] gave Adam the freedom to choose. Without choice, Adam would have been like a prisoner, and this obedience would have been hollow. The two trees provided an exercise in choice, with rewards for choosing to obey and sad consequences for choosing to disobey. When you are faced with the choice, always choose to obey God [Wall].)
‘ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5.31-33
The union of husband and wife merges two people in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your partner as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, helping the other person become all he or she can be. The creation story tells of God’s [Wall’s] plant hat husband and wife should be one (Genesis 2.24), and Jesus also referred to his plan (Matthew 19.4-6).
(‘ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. – Ephesians 5.26, 27 Christ’s death sanctifies and cleanses the church. He cleanses us from the old ways of sin and sets us apart for his special sacred service (Hebrews 10.29; 13.12). Christ cleansed the church by the “washing” of baptism. Through baptism we are prepared for entrance in the church just as ancient Near Eastern brides were prepared for marriage by a ceremonial bath. It is God’s [Wall’s] word that cleanses us (John 17.17; Titus 3.5).)
(‘ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – Ephesians 6.1, 2 There is a difference between obeying and honouring. To obey means to do as one is told; to honour means to respect and love. Children are not commanded to disobey God [Wall] in obeying their parents. Adult children are not asked to be subservient to domineering parents. Children are to obey while under their parents’ care, but the responsibility to honour parents is for life.)
Different roles, same goals:
‘ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ’woman’, for she was taken out of man.” – Genesis 2.21-23
God [Wall] forms and equips men and women for various tasks, but all these tasks lead to the same goal – honouring God [Wall]. Man gives life to woman; woman gives life to the world. Each role carries exclusive privileges; there is no room for thinking that one sex is superior to the other.
Three aspects of:
‘ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. – Genesis 2.24
God [Wall] gave marriage as a gift to Adam and Eve. They were created perfect for each other. Marriage was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture. It was instituted by God [Wall] and has three basic aspects: (1) the man leaves his parents and, in a public act, promises himself to his wife; (2) the man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each other’s welfare and by loving the partner above all others; (3) the two become one flesh in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union that is reserved for marriage. Strong marriages include all three of these aspects.
Eliminating barriers in:
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. – Genesis 2.25
Have you ever noticed how a little child can run naked through a room full of strangers without embarrassment? He is not aware of his nakedness, just as Adam and Eve were not embarrassed in their innocence. But after Adam and Eve sinned, shame and awkwardness followed, creating barriers between themselves and God. We often experience these same barriers in marriage. Ideally a husband and wife have no barriers, feeling no embarrassment in exposing themselves to each other or to God. But, like Adam and Eve (3.7), we put on fig leaves (barriers) because we have areas we don’t want our spouse, or God, to know about. Then we hide, just as Adam and Eve hid from God. In marriage, lack of spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy usually precedes a breakdown of physical intimacy. In the same way, when we fail to expose our secret thoughts to God, we break our lines of communication with him.
(‘ Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” – Genesis 3.1 Disguised as a crafty serpent, Satan came to tempt Eve. Satan at one time was an angel who rebelled against God [Wall] and was thrown out of heaven. As a created being, Satan has definite limitations. Although he is trying to tempt everyone away from God [Wall], he will not be the final victor. In 3:14, 15, God [Wall] promises that Satan will be crushed by one of the woman’s offspring, the Messiah.)
Marriage customs in Abraham’s day:
‘ but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.” – Genesis 24.4
Abraham wanted Isaac to marry within the family. This was a common and acceptable practice at this time that had the added advantage of avoiding intermarriage with pagan neighbours. A son’s wife was usually chosen by the parents. It was common for a woman to be married in her early teens although Rebekah was probably older.
(‘ He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had. “Put your hand under my thigh. … So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter. – Genesis 24.2, 9 In Abraham’s culture, putting a hand under the thigh was how an agreement was sealed or a covenant ratified. To accomplish the same purpose, we shake hands, swear oaths, or sign documents in the presence of a witness.)
(‘ “Make sure that you do not take my son back there.” Abraham said, “The LORD the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath , saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’ – he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. – Genesis 24.6 Abraham wanted Isaac to stay in Canaan, but he didn’t want him to marry one of the local gifts. This contrasts to the way Hagar selected a wife for Ishmael in 21:21. To have Isaac stay and marry, or send him back to marry a relative would have been easier. But Abraham wanted to obey God [Wall] in the who as well as in the where. Make your obedience full and complete.)
What a dowry was:
‘ Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”
Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” So Jacob served years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.
Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her.”
So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant.
When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, I didn’t I? why have you deceived me?”
Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.” – Genesis 29.18-27
It was the custom of the day for a man to present a dowry, or substantial gift, to the family of his future wife. This was to compensate the family for the loss of the girl. Jacob’s dowry was not a material possession, for he had none to offer. Instead he agreed to work seven years for Lebanon. But there was another custom did not tell Jacob. The older daughter had to be married first. By giving Jacob Leah and not Rachel, Laban tricked him into promising another seven years of hard work.
(29.20-28 People often wonder if working a long time for something they desire is worth it. Jacob worked seven years to marry Rachel. After being tricked, he agreed to work seven more years for her (although he did get to marry Rachel shortly after her married Leah)! The most important goals and desires are worth working and waiting for. Films and television have created the illusion that people have to wait only about an hour to solve their problems or get what they want. Don’t’ be trapped into thinking the same is true in real life. Patience is hardest when we need it the most, but it is the key to achieving our goals.)
(‘ Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s house, then the LORD will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth. – Genesis 28.20-22 Was Jacob trying to bargain with God [Wall]? It is possible that he, in his ignorance of how to worship and serve God [Wall], treated God [Wall] like a servant who would perform a service for a tip. More likely, Jacob was not bargaining, but pledging his future to God [Wall]. He may have been saying, in effect, “Because you have blessed me, I will follow you.” Whether Jacob was bargaining or pledging, God [Wall] blessed him. But God [Wall] also had some difficult lessons for Jacob to learn.)
Laws for widows:
‘ Then Judah said to Onan, “Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfil your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that he offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD’S sight; so he put him to death also. – Genesis 38.8-10
This law about marrying a widow in the family is explained in Deuteronomy 25:5-10. Its purpose was to ensure that a childless widow would have a son who would receive her late husband’s inheritance and who, in turn, would care for her. Because Judah’s son (Tamar’s husband) had no children, there was no family line through which the inheritance and the blessing of the covenant could continue. God [Wall] killed Onan because he refused to fulfil his obligation to his brother and to Tamar.
(‘ At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. – Genesis 38.1ff This Chapter vividly contrasts the immoral character of Judah with the moral character of Joseph. Judah’s lack of integrity resulted in family strife and deception. In Chapter 39, we see how Joseph’s integrity and wise choices reflect his godly character. His faithfulness was rewarded with blessings greater than he could imagine, both for himself and for his family.)
(‘ When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. Not realising that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.” “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked. “I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” he said. “Will you give me something as a pledge should I give you?” “Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand,” she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow’s clothes again. Meanwhile Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get his pledge back from the woman, but he did not find her. He asked the men who lived there, “Where is the shrine-prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim?” “There hasn’t been any shring-prostitute here.’ “ – Genesis 38.15-23 Why does this story seem to take a light view of prostitution? Prostitutes were common in pagan cultures such as Canaan. Public prostitutes served Canaanite goddesses and were common elements of the religious cults. Fornication was encouraged to improve fertility in crops and flocks. They were more highly respected than private prostitutes who were sometimes punished when caught. Tamar was driven to seduce Judah because of her intense desire to have children and be the matriarch of Judah’s oldest line; Judah was driven by lust. Neither case was justified.)
Newly weds forbad it between close relatives:
‘ “ ‘No-one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD. “ ‘Do not dishonour your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife, that would dishonour your father. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonour you. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister, she is your father’s close relative. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is your mother’s close relative. “ ‘Do not dishonour your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; do not have relations with her. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonour your brother. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness. “ ‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living. – Leviticus 18.6-18
Marrying relatives was prohibited by God [Wall] for physical [Sternum], social, and moral reasons. Children born to near relatives may experience serious health problems. Without these specific laws, sexual promiscuity would have been more likely, first in families, then outside. Improper sexual relations destroy family life.
(‘ You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. – Leviticus 18.3 The Israelites moved from one idol-infested country to another. As God [Wall] helped them form a new culture, he warned them to leave all aspects of their pagan background behind. He also warned them how easy it would be to slip into the pagan culture of Canaan, where they were going. Canaan’s society and religions appealed to worldly desires, especially sexual immorality and drunkenness. The Israelites were to keep themselves pure and set apart for God [Wall]. God [Wall] did not want his people absorbed into the surrounding culture and environment. Society may pressure us to conform to its way of life and thought, but yielding to that pressure will (1) create confusion as to which side we should be on and (2) eliminate our effectiveness in serving God [Wall]. Follow God [Wall], and don’t let the culture around you mould your thoughts and actions.)
(… “ ‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbour’s wife and defile yourself with her. “ ‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD. “ ‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable. “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion. “ ‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, – Leviticus 18.6-27 Several abominations, or wicked actions, are listed here: (1) having sexual relations with close relatives, (2) committing adultery, (3) offering children as sacrifices, (4) having homosexual relations, and (5) having sexual relations with animals. These practices were common in pagan religions and cultures, and it is easy to see why God [Wall] dealt harshly with those who began to follow them. Such practices lead to disease, deformity, and death. They disrupt family life and society and reveal a low regard for the value of one-self and of others. Society today takes some of these practices in God’s [Wall’s] eyes. If you consider them acceptable, you are not judging by God’s [Wall’s] standards.)
What was a “levirate” marriage?
‘ If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. – Deuteronomy 24.5
Recently married couples were to remain together their first year. This was to avoid placing an excessive burden upon a new, unproven relations and to give it a chance to mature and strengthen before confronting it with numerous responsibilities. A gardener starts a tiny seeding in a small pot and allows it to take root before planting it in the field. Let your marriage grow strong by protecting your relationship from too many outside pressures and distractions – especially in the beginning. And don’t expect or demand so much from newlyweds that they have inadequate time or energy to establish their marriage.
(‘ If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. – Deuteronomy 24.1-4 Some think this passage supports divorce, but that is not the case. It simply recognises a practice that already existed in Israel. All four verses must be read to understand the point of the passage; it certainly is not suggesting that a man divorce his wife on a whim. Divorce was a permanent and final act for the couple. Once divorced and remarried to others, they could never be remarried to each other (24.4). This restriction was to prevent causal remarriage after a frivolous separation. The intention was to make people think twice before divorcing.)
(‘ When you make a loan of any kind to your neighbour, do not go into his house to get what he is offering as a pledge. Stay outside and let the man to whom you are making the loan bring the pledge out to you. If the man is poor, do not go to sleep with his pledge in your possession. Return his cloak to him by sunset so that he may sleep in it. Then he will thank you, and it will be regarded as a righteous act in the sight of the LORD your God. Do not take advantage of a hired man who is poor and needy, whether he is a brother Israelite or an alien living in one of your towns. Pay him his wages each day before sunset, because he is poor and is counting on it. Otherwise he may cry to the LORD against you, and you will be guilty of sin. Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin. Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. Remember that you were slaves of Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you from there. That is why I command you to do this. When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the alien, the fatherless and the widow. When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the alien, the fatherless and the widow. Remember you were slaves in Egypt. That is why I command you to do this. – Deuteronomy 24.10-22 Throughout the Old Testament God [Wall] told his people to treat the poor with justice. The powerless and poverty-stricken are often looked upon as incompetent or lazy, when, in fact, they may be victims of oppression and circumstance. God [Wall] says we must do all we can to help these needy ones. His justice did not permit the Israelite to insist on profits or quick payment from those who were less fortunate. Instead, his laws gave the poor every opportunity to better their situation, while providing humane options for those who couldn’t. None of us is completely isolated from the poor. God [Wall] wants us to treat them fairly and do our part to see that their needs are met.)
Why Samson’s parents objected to his marriage:
‘ His father and mother replied, “Isn’t there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people? Must you go to the uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?”
But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me. She’s the right one for me.” – Judges 14.3
Samson’s parents objected to his marrying the Philistine woman for several reasons: (1) It was against God’s [Wall’s law (Exodus 34.15-17; Deuteronomy 7.1-4). A stark example of what happened when the Israelites married pagans can be found in 3:5-7. (2) The Philistines were Israel’s greatest enemies. Marriage to a hated Philistine would be a disgrace to Samson’s family. But Samson’s father gave in to Samson’s demand and allowed the marriage, even though he had the right to refuse his son.
(‘ and the Spirit of the LORD began to stir him while he was in Mahaneh Dan, between Zorah and Eshtaol. – Judges 13.25 Samson’s tribe, Dan, continued to wander in their inherited land (18.1), which was as yet unconquered (Joshua 19.47, 48). Samson must have grown up with his warlike tribe’s yearnings for permanent and settled territory. Thus his visits to the tribal army camp stirred his heart, and God’s Spirit began preparing him for his role as judge and leader against the Philistines. – Perhaps there are things that stir your heart. These may indicate areas where God [Wall] wants to use you. God [Wall] uses a variety of means to develop and prepare us: hereditary traits, environmental influences, and personal experiences. As with Samson, this preparation often begins long before adulthood. Work at being sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading and the tasks God [Wall] has prepared for you. Your past may be more useful to you than you imagine.)
(The Spirit of the LORD came upon him in power so that he tore the lion apart with his bare hands as he might have torn a young goat. But he told neither his father nor his mother what he had done. – Judges 14.6 “The Spirit of the LORD came upon him in power” refers to the unusual physical [Sternum] strengthen given him by the Spirit of the Lord. Samson did not seem to be affected in any other ways than increased physical strength.)
Solomon’s many marriages brought ruin:
‘ Solomon made an alliance with Pharaoh king of Egypt and married his daughter. He brought her to the City of David until he finished building his palace and the temple of the LORD, and the wall around Jerusalem . – 1 Kings 3.1
Marriage between royal families was a common practice in the ancient Near East because it secured peace. Although Solomon’s marital alliances built friendships with surrounding nations, they were also the beginning of his downfall. These relationships became inroad for pagan ideas and practices. Solomon’s foreign wives brought their dogs to Jerusalem and eventually lured him into idolatry (11.1-6).
It is easy to minimise religious differences in order to encourage the development of a friendship, but seemingly small differences can have an enormous impact upon a relationship. God [wall] gives us standards to follow for all our relationships, including marriage. If we follow God’s [Wall’s] will, we will not be lured away from our true focus.
(‘ Then the king gave the order to Benaiah son of Jehoiada, and he went out and struck Shimei down and killed him. the kingdom was now firmly established in Solomon’s hands. – 1 Kings 2.46 Solomon ordered the executions of Adonijah, Joab, and Shimei, forced Abiathar out as priest, and then appointed new men to take their places. He did these things swiftly, securing his grip on the kingdom. By executing justice and tying up loose ends that could affect the future stability of his kingdom, Solomon was promoting peace, not bloodshed. He was a man of peace in two ways: he did not go to war, and he put an end to internal rebellion.)
(‘ The people, however, were still sacrificing at the high places, because a temple had not yet been built for the Name of the LORD. Solomon showed his love for the LORD by walking according to the statutes of his father David, except that he offered sacrifices and burned incense on the high places. – 1 Kings 3.2, 3 God’s [Wall’s] laws said that the Israelites could make sacrifices only in specified places (Deuteronomy 12.13, 14). This was to prevent the people from instituting their own methods of worship and allowing pagan practices to creep into their worship. But many Israelites, including Solomon, made sacrifices in the surrounding hills. Solomon loved God [Wall], but this act was sin. It took the offerings out of the watchful care of priests and ministers loyal to God [Wall] and opened the way for false teaching to be tied to these sacrifices. God appeared to Solomon to grant him wisdom, but at night, not during the sacrifice. God [Wall] honoured his prayer but did not condone the sacrifice.)
‘ They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. – 1 Kings 11.2
Although Solomon had clear instructions from God [Wall] not to marry women from foreign nations, he chose to disregard God’s [Wall]s commands. He married not one, but many foreign women, who subsequently led him away from God [Wall]. God [Wall] knows our strengths and weaknesses, and his commands are always for our good. When people ignore God’s [Wall’]s commands, negative consequences inevitably result. It is not enough to apply it to our daily activities and decisions. Take God’s [Wall’s] commands seriously. Like Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, we are not as strong as we may think.
(‘ Solomon accumulated chariots and horses; he had fourteen hundred chariots and twelve thousand horses, which he kept in the chariot cities and also with him in Jerusalem. The king made silver as common in Jerusalem as stones, and cedar as plentiful as sycamore-fig trees in the foothills. Solomon’s horses were imported from Egypt and from Kue – the royal merchants purchased them from Kue. They imported a chariot from Egypt for six hundred shekels of silver, and a horse for a hundred and fifty. They also exported them to all the kings of the Hittites and of the Arameans. King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter – Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. – 1 Kings 10.26-11.3 In accumulating chariots and horses, a huge harem, and incredible wealth, Solomon was violating God’s [Wall’s] commands for a king (Deuteronomy 17.14-20). Why were they prohibited? God [Wall] knew how these activities would hurt the nation both politically and spiritually (1 Samuel 8.11-18). The more luxurious Solomon’s court became, the more the people were taxed. Excessive taxation created unrest, and soon conditions became ripe for a revolution. With everything he wanted, Solomon forgot God [Wall] and allowed pagan influences to enter his court through his pagan wives, thus accelerating the spiritual corruption of the nation.)
(‘ He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. – 1 Kings 11.3 For all his wisdom, Solomon had some weak spots. He could not say no to compromise or to lustful desires. Whether he married to strengthen political alliances or to gain personal pleasure, these foreign wives led him into idolatry. You may have strong faith, but you also have weak spots – and that is where temptation usually strikes. Strengthen and protect your weaker areas because a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. If Solomon, the wisest man, could fall, so can you.)
‘ Solomon brought Pharaoh’s daughter up from the City of David to the palace he had built for her, for he said, “My wife must not live in the palace of David king of Israel, because the places the ark of the LORD has entered are holy.” – 2 Chronicles 8.11
Solomon married Pharaoh’s daughter to secure a military alliance with Egypt. He did not let the woman live in David’s palace, however, where the ark of God [Wall] had once been kept. This implies that Solomon knew his pagan marriage would not please God [Wall]. Solomon married many other foreign women, and this was contrary to God’s [Wall’s] law (Deuteronomy 7.3, 4). These women worshipped false gods and were certain to contaminate Israel with their beliefs and practices. Eventually Solomon’s pagan wives caused his downfall (1 Kings 11.1-11).
(‘ And though this temple is now so imposing, all who pass by will be appalled and say, ‘Why has the LORD done such a thing to this land and to this temple?’ People will answer, ‘Because they have forsaken the LORD, the God of their fathers, who brought them out of Egypt, and have embraced other gods, worshipping and serving them – that is why he brought all this disaster on them.’ “ – 2 Chronicles 7.21, 22 Soon after Solomon’s reign, the temple was ransacked (12.9). It is difficult for us to imagine that such a great and wise king could become corrupted by idols – symbols of power, prosperity, and sexuality. But even today these idols lure us into their traps. When we allow any desire to rival God’s [Wall’s] proper place, we have taken the first step towards moral and spiritual decay.)
‘ They did not deviate from the king’s commands to the priests or to the Levites in any matter, including that of the treasuries. – 2 Chronicles 8.15
Although Solomon carefully followed God’s [Wall’s] instructions for building the temple and offering sacrifices (8.13), he paid no attention to what God [Wall] said about marrying pagan women. His sin in marrying a foreign wife (8.11) began his slide away from God [Wall]. No matter how good or spiritual we are in most areas of life, one unsurrendered area can begin a downfall. Guard carefully every area of your life, especially your relationships. Don’t give sin any foothold.)
Religious differences in:
(See above.) 1 Kings 3.1
Jehoram’s was politically advantageous, but spiritually deadly:
‘ He walked in the ways of the kings of Israel, as the house of Ahab had done, for he married a daughter of Ahab. He did evil in the eyes of the LORD. – 2 Kings 8.18
King Jehoshaphat arranged the marriage between Jehoram, his son, and Athaliah, the daughter of wicked Ahab and Jezebel. Athaliah followed the idolatrous ways of the northern kingdom, bringing Baal worship into Judah and starting the southern kingdom’s decline. When Jehoram died, his son Ahaziah became king. Then, when Ahaziah was killed in battle, Athaliah murdered all her grandsons except Joash and made herself queen (11.1-3). Jehoram’s marriage may have been politically advantageous, but spiritually it was deadly.
(‘ “Why is my lord weeping?” asked Hazael. “Because I know the harm you will do to the Israelites,” he answered. “You will set fire to their fortified places, kill their young men with the sword, dash their little children to the ground, and rip open their pregnant women.” Hazael said, “How could your servant, a mere dog, accomplish such a feat?” “The LORD has shown me that you will become king of Aram,” answered Elisha. Then Hazael left Elisha and returned to his master. When Ben-Hadad asked, “What did Elisha say to you?” Hazael replied, “He told me that you would certainly recover.” But the next day he took a thick cloth, soaked it in water and spread it over the king’s face, so that he died. Then Hazael succeeded him as king. – 2 Kings 8.12-15 Elisha’s words about Hazael’s treatment of Israel were partially fulfilled in 10:32, 33. Apparently Hazael had known he would be king because Elijah had anointed him (1 Kings 19:15). But he was impatient and, instead of waiting for God’s [Wall’s] timing, took matters into his own hands, killing Ben-Hadad. God [Wall] took Hazael as an instrument of judgment against the disobedient Israelites.)
(‘ In the time Jehoram, Edom rebelled against Judah and set up its own king. So Jehoram went to Zair with all his chariots. The Edomites surrounded him with his chariot commanders, but he rose up and broke through by night; his army, however, fled back home. To this day Edom has been in rebellion against Judah. Libnah revolted at the same time. – 2 Kings 8.20-22 Although Judah and Edom shared a common border and a common ancestor (Isaac), the two nations fought continually. Edom had been a vassal of the united kingdom of Israel and then the southern kingdom of Judah since the days of David (2 Samuel 8.13, 14). Here Edom rebelled against Jehoram and declared independence. Immediately Jehoram marched out to attack Edom, but his ambush failed. Thus Jehoram lost some of his borderlands as punishment for his failure to honour God [Wall].)
Jehoram’s wrong one caused nation’s downfall:
‘ He walked in the ways of the kings of Israel, as the house of Ahab had done, for he married a daughter of Ahab. He did evil in the eyes of the LORD. – 2 Chronicles 21.6
Jehoram, the new king of Judah, married Athaliah, one of the daughters of King Ahab of Israel. She became the mother of Judah’s next king, Ahaziah (22.2). Athaliah’s mother was Jezebel, the most wicked woman Israel had ever known. Jehoram’s marriage to Athaliah was Judah’s downfall, for Athaliah brought her mother’s wicked influences into Judah, causing the nation to forget God [Wall] and turn to Baal worship (22.3).
(‘ Eliezer son of Dodavahu of Mareshah prophesied against Jehoshaphat, saying, “Because you have made an alliance with Ahaziah, the LORD will destroy what you have made.” The ships were wrecked and were not able to set sail to trade. – 2 Chronicles 20.37 Jehoshaphat met disaster when he joined forces with wicked King Ahaziah. He did not learn from his disastrous alliance with Aram (16.2-9). The partnership stood on unequal footing because one man served the Lord and the other worshipped idols. We court disaster when we enter into partnership with unbelievers, because our very foundations differ (2 Corinthians 6.14-18). While one serves the Lord, the other does not recognise God’s [Wall’s] authority. Inevitably, the one who serves God [Wall] is faced with the temptation to compromise values. When that happens, spiritual disaster results. – Before entering into partnerships, ask: (1) What are my motives? (2) What problems am I avoiding by seeking this partnership? (3) Is this partnership the best solution, or is it only a quick solution to my problem? (4) Have I prayed or asked others to pray for guidance? (5) Are my partner and I really working towards the same goals? (6) Am I willing to settle for less financial gain in order to do what God [Wall] wants?)
(‘ Nevertheless, because of the covenant the LORD had made with David, the LORD was not willing to destroy the house of David. He had promised to maintain a lamp for him and his descendants for ever. – 2 Chronicles 21.7 God [Wall] promised that a descendant of David would always sit on the throne (2 Samuel 7.8-16). What happened to this promise when the nation was destroyed and carried away? There were two parts to God’s [Wall’s] promise. (1) In the physical [Sternum] sense, as long as there was an actual throne in Judah, a descendant of David would sit upon it. But this part of the promise depended on the obedience of these kings. When they disobeyed, God [Wall] was not bound to continue David’s temporal line. (2) In the spiritual sense, this promise was completely fulfilled in the coming of Jesus the Messiah, a descendant of David, who would sit on the throne of David for ever.)
Between a believer & unbeliever:
‘ After these things had been done, the leaders came to me and said, “The people of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the neighbouring peoples with their detestable practices, like those of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians and Amorites. They have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves their sons, and have mingled the holy race with the peoples around them. And the leaders and officials have led the way in this unfaithfulness.” – Ezra 9.1-2
Since the time of the judges, Israelite men had married pagan women and then adopted their religious practices (Judges 3.5-7). Even Israel’s great King Solomon was guilty of this sin (1 Kings 11.1-8). Although this practice was forbidden in God’s [Wall’s] laws (Exodus 34.11-16; Deuteronomy 7.1-4), it happened in Ezra’s day, day, and again only a generation after him (Nehemiah 13.23-27). Opposition to mixed marriage was not racial prejudice because Jews and non-Jews of this area were of the same Semitic background. The reasons were strictly spiritual. A person who married a pagan was inclined to adopt that person’s pagan beliefs and practices. If the Israelites were insensitive enough to disobey God [Wall] in something as important as marriage, they wouldn’t be strong enough to stand firm against their spouses’ idolatry. Until the Israelites finally stopped this practice, idolatry remained a constant problem.
(‘ They also delivered the king’s orders to the royal satraps and to the governors of Trans-Euphrates who then gave assistance to the people and to the house of God [Wall]. – Ezra 8.36 Satraps were the equivalent of provincial governors.)
‘ They have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, and have mingled the holy race with the peoples around them. And the leaders and officials have led the way in this unfaithfulness.” – Ezra 9.2
Some Israelites had married pagan spouses and lost track of God’s purpose for them. The New Testament says that believers should not “be yoked together with” unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6.14). Such marriages cannot have unity in the most important issue in life – commitment and obedience to God [Wall]. Because marriage involves two people becoming one, faith may become an issue, and one spouse may have to compromise beliefs for the sake of unity. Many people discount this problem only to regret it later. Don’t allow emotion or passion to blind you to the ultimate importance of marrying someone with whom you can be untied spiritually.
(‘ When I heard this, I tore my tunic and cloak, pulled hair from my head and beard and sat down appalled. Then everyone who trembled at the words of the God [Wall] of Israel gathered round me because of this unfaithfulness of the exiles. And I sat there appalled until the evening sacrifice. Then, at the evening sacrifice, I rose from my self-abasement, with my tunic and cloak torn, and fell on my knees with my hands spread out to the LORD my God – Ezra 9.3-5 Tearing one’s clothes or pulling hair from one’s head or beard were signs of self-abasement or humility. They expressed sorrow for sin.)
‘ To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. – 1 Corinthians 7.12-14
Because of their desire to serve Christ, some people in the Corinthian church thought they ought to divorce their pagan spouses and marry Christians. But Paul affirmed the marriage commitment. God’s [Wall’s] ideal is for marriages to stay together – even when one spouse is not a believer. The Christian spouse should try to win the other to Christ. It would be easy to rationalise leaving; however, Paul makes a strong case for staying with the unbelieving spouse and being a positive influence on the marriage. Paul, like Jesus, believed that marriage is permanent (see Mark 10.1-9).
(7.12 Paul’s command about the permanence of marriage (7.10) comes from the Old Testament (Genesis 2.24) and from Jesus (Mark 10.2-12). His suggestion in this verse is based on God’s command, and Paul applies it to the situation the Corinthians were facing. Paul ranked the command above the suggestion because one is an eternal principle while the other is a specific application. Nevertheless, for people in similar situations, Paul’s suggestion is the best advice they will get. Paul was a man of God [Wall], an apostle, and he had the mind of Christ.)
(7.14 The blessings that flow to believers don’t stop there, but extend to others. God [Wall] regards the marriage as “sanctified” (set apart for his use) by the presence of one Christian spouse. The other does not receive salvation automatically, but is helped by this relationship. The children of such a marriage are to be regarded as “holy” (because of God’s [Wall’s] blessing on the family unit) until they are old enough to decide for themselves.)
‘ But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? – 1 Corinthians 7.15-16
This verse is misused by some as a loophole to get out of marriage. But Paul’s statements were given to encourage the Christian spouse to try to get along with the unbeliever and make the marriage work. If, however, the unbelieving spouse insisted on leaving, Paul said to let him or her go. The only alternative would be for the Christian to deny his or her faith to preserve the marriage, and that would be worse than dissolving the marriage. Paul’s chief purpose in writing this was to urge the married couples to seek unity, not separation (see 7.17; 1 Peter 3.1, 2).
Faithfulness in marriage need not be boring:
‘ May your foundation be blessed, and my you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer – mayher breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? – Proverbs 5.18-20
God [Wall] does not intend faithfulness in marriage to be boring, lifeless, pleasureless, and dull. Sex is a gift God [Wall] gives to married people for their mutual enjoyment. Real happiness comes when we decide to find pleasure in the relationship God [Wall] has given or will give us and to commit ourselves to making it pleasurable for our spouse. The real danger is in doubting that God [Wall] knows and cares for us. We may then resent his timing and carelessly pursue sexual pleasure without his blessing.
(5.19 See Song of Sons, Chapter 4, for parallels to this frank expression of the joys of sexual pleasure in marriage.)
(‘ Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. may your foundation be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer – may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. – Proverbs 5.15-21 In contrast to much of what we read, see, and hear today, this passage urges couples to look to each other for lifelong satisfaction and companionship. Many temptations entice husbands and wives to desert each other for excitement and pleasures to be found elsewhere when marriage becomes dull. But God [Wall] designed married and sanctified it, and only within this covenant relationship can we find real love and fulfilment. Don’t let God’s [Wall’s] best for you be wasted on the illusion of greener pastures somewhere else. Instead, rejoice with your spouse as you give yourselves to God [Wall] to each other.)
(‘ My son, if you have put up security for your neighbour, if you have struck hands in pledge for another, if you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbour’s hands: Go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbour! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like bird from the snare of the fowler. – Proverbs 6.1-5 These verses are not a plea against generosity, but against overextending one’s financial resources and acting in irresponsible ways that could lead to poverty. It is important to maintain a balance between generosity and good stewardship. God [Wall] wants us to help our friends and the needy, but he does not promise to cover the costs of every unwise commitment we make. We should also act responsibly so that our family does not suffer.)
Importance of strong ones:
‘ From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. – Proverbs 18.22
This verse states that it is good to be married. Today’s emphasis on individual freedom is misguided. Strong individuals are important, but so are strong marriages. God [Wall] created marriage for our enjoyment and he pronounced it good. This is one of many passages in the Bible that show marriage as a joyful and good creation of God [Wall] (Genesis 2.21-25; Proverbs 5.15-19; John 2.1-11).
(‘ He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame. … The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out. … The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him. – Proverbs 18.13, 15, 17 In these concise statements, there are three basic principles for making sound decisions: (1) get the facts before answering; (2) be open to new ideas; (3) make sure you hear both sides of the story before judging. All three principles centre around seeking additional information. This is difficult work, but the only alternative is prejudice – judging before getting the facts.)
(‘ A poor man pleads for mercy, but a rich man answers harshly. – Proverbs 18.23 This verse does not condone insulting the poor; it is simply recording an unfortunate fact of life. It is wrong for rich people to treat the less fortunate with contempt and arrogance, and God [Wall] will judge such actions severely (see 14.31).)
Encouragement & appreciation in:
‘ I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys. – Song of Songs 2.1
The rose of Sharon and lily of the valleys were flowers commonly found in Israel. Perhaps the girl was saying, “I’m not so special; I’m just an ordinary flower,” to which Solomon replied, “Oh, no, you are extraordinary – a lily among thorns.” Solomon used the language of love. There is nothing more vital than encouraging and appreciating the person you love. Be sure to tell your spouse “I love you” every day, and show that love by your actions.
(‘ How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs. – Song of Songs 1.16, 17 The lover and his bellowed describe their woodland surroundings as it wedding bedroom.)
(‘ Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. – Song of Songs 2.7 Feelings of love can create intimacy that overpowers reason. Young people are too often in a hurry to develop an intimate relationship based on their strong feelings. But feelings aren’t enough to support a lasting relationship. This verse encourages us not to force romance lest the feelings of love grow faster than the commitment needed to make love last. Patiently wait for feelings of love and commitment to develop together.)
‘ How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of Myrrh and to the hill of incense. All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you. – Song of Songs 4.1-7
We feel like awkward onlookers when we read this intensely private and intimate exchange. In the ecstasy of their love, the lovers praised each other using beautiful imagery. Their words may seem strange to readers from a different culture, but their intense feelings of love and admiration are universal. Communicating love and expressing admiration in both words and actions can enhance every marriage.
(‘ Look! It is Solomon’s carriage, escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of Israel, … King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he made it of wood from Lebanon. – Song of Songs 3.7, 9 Solomon’s carriage was probably a covered and curtained couch used for carrying a single passenger on the shoulders of men.)
(‘ You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. – Song of Songs 4.12 In comparing his bride to a locked garden, Solomon was praising her virginity. Virginity, considered old-fashioned by many in today’s culture, has always been God’s [Wall’s] plan for unmarried people – and with good reason. Sex without marriage is cheap. It cannot compare with the joy of giving yourself completely to the one who is totally committed to you.)
Refreshing each other in:
‘ You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. – Song of Songs 4.15
Solomon’s bride was as refreshing to him as a fountain. Could your spouse say the same about you? Sometimes the familiarity that comes with marriage causes us to forget the overwhelming feelings of love and refreshment we shared at the beginning. Many marriages could benefit from a course in “refreshing”. Do you refresh your spouse, or are you a burden of complaints, sorrows, and problems? Partners in marriage should continually work at refreshing each other by an encouraging word, an unexpected gift, a change of pace, a surprise call or note, or even a withholding of a discussion of some problem until the proper time. Your spouse needs you to be a haven of refreshment because the rest of the world usually isn’t.
(‘ I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” – Song of Songs 5.2ff This new section tells how the couple’s marriage grew and matured in spite of problems. Some time had passed since the wedding, and the girl felt as though some indifference had developed in their relationship. She had become cool to her husband’s advances, and by the time she changed her mind and responded to him, he had left. Her self-centredness and impatience, though brief, caused separation. But she quickly moved to correct the problem by searching for her husband (5.6-8).)
‘ I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” I have taken off my robe – must I put it on again? I have washed my feet – must I soil them again? My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock. I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer. The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls! O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you – if you find my lover, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love. – Song of Songs 5.2-8
It is inevitable that, with the passing of time and the growth of familiarity, a marriage will start to lose its initial sparkle. Glances and touches no longer produce the same emotional response. Conflicts and pressures may creep in, causing you to lose your tenderness towards your spouse. The world is not a haven for lovers; in fact, external stress often works against the marriage relationship. But spouses can learn to be havens for each other. If intimacy and passion decline, remember that they can be renewed and regenerated. Take time to remember those first thrills, the excitement of sex, your spouse’s strengths, and the commitment you made. When you focus on the positives, reconciliation and renewal can result.
(5.7 The girl was alone outside during the night. In Old Testament times, she would have been looked upon as a criminal or a prostitute and treated as such. This image symbolises the pain she felt at being separated from her lover.)
Is your spouse also your friend?
‘ His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. – Song of Songs 5.16
The girl calls Solomon her “friend”. In a healthy marriage, lovers are also good friends. Too often people are driven into marriage by the exciting feelings of love and passion before they take the time to develop a deep friendship. This involves listening, sharing, and showing understanding for the other’s likes and dislikes. Friendship takes time, but it makes a love relationship much deeper and far more satisfying.
(‘I am my lover’s and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies. – Song of Songs 6.3 The girl said that she and her lover belonged to each other – they had given themselves to each other unreservedly. No matter how close we may be to our parents or our best friends, it is only in marriage that we realise complete union of mind, heart, and body.)
(‘ You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem, majestic as troops with banners. – Song of Songs 6.4 Tirzah was a city [Seat] about 35 miles northeast of Jerusalem. Its name means “pleasure” or “beauty”. Jeroboam made Tirzah the first capital of the divided northern kingdom (1 Kings 14.7). “Majestic as troops with banners” means that the beloved must have had awe-inspiring beauty, like a mighty army readying for battle.)
Don’t stereotype certain roles in:
‘ I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom – there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover. – Song of Songs 7.10-13
As a marriage matures, there should be more love and freedom between marriage partners. Here the girl takes the initiative in lovemaking. Many cultures have stereotypes of the roles men and women play in lovemaking, but the security of true love gives both marriage partners the freedom to initiate acts of love and express their true feelings.
(7.13 Mandrakes were a somewhat rare plant often thought to increase fertility. Mandrakes are also mentioned in Genesis 30:14-17.)
(‘ Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking towards Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. – Song of Songs 7.4, 5 The phrase “your eyes are the pools of Heshbon” suggests sparking eyes. Heshbon was the ancient capital of the Amorites. Bath Rabbim may have been a gate of Heshbon. The “tower of Lebanon” may have been a watchtower (evidently a prominent one and seen as very beautiful). Some suggest that this refers to the Lebanon mountain range. Mount Carmel overlooks the Mediterranean Sea and Palestine.)
Why did God tell Hosea to marry Gomer?
‘ When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD.” So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son. – Hosea 1.2-3
Did God really order his prophet to marry a woman who would commit adultery? Some who find it difficult to believe God [Wall] could make such a request view this story as an illustration, not an historical event. Many, however, think the story is historical and give one of these explanations: (1) According to God’s [Wall’s] law, a priest could not marry a prostitute or a divorced woman (Leviticus 21.7). However, Hosea was not a priest. (2) It is possible that Gomer was not an adulterous woman when Hosea married her, and that God [Wall] was letting Hosea know that Gomer would later turn to adultery and prostitution. In any case, Hosea knew ahead of time that his wife would be unfaithful and that their married life would become a living object lesson to the adulterous northern kingdom. Hosea’s marriage to an unfaithful woman would illustrate God’s [Wall’s] relationship to the unfaithful nation of Israel.
(1.2, 3 It is difficult to imagine Hosea’s feelings when God [Wall] told him to marry a woman who would be unfaithful to him. He may not have wanted to do it, but he obeyed. God [Wall] often required extraordinary obedience from his prophets who were facing extraordinary times. God [Wall] may ask you to do something difficult and extraordinary, too. If he does, how will you respond? Will you obey him, trusting that he who knows everything has a special purpose for his request? Will you be able to accept the fact that the pain involved in obedience may benefit those you serve, and not you personally?)
(‘ The word of the LORD that came to Hosea son of Beeri during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah, kings of Judah, and during the reign of Jeroboam son of Joash king of Israel: – Hosea 1.1 Hosea was a prophet to the northern kingdom of Israel. He served from 753 B.C. to 715 B.C. Under the reign of Jeroboam II, the northern kingdom had prospered materially but had decayed spiritually. The people were greedy and had adopted the moral behaviour and idolatrous religion of the surrounding Canaanites. – Hosea’s role was to show how the northern kingdom had been unfaithful to God [Wall], their “husband” and provider, and had married themselves to Baal and the gods of Canaan. He warned that unless they repented of their sin and turned back to God [Wall] they were headed for destruction. Hosea spoke of God’s [Wall’s] characteristics – his powerful love and fierce justice – and how their practical experience of these should affect their lives and make them return to God [Wall]. Unfortunately, the people had broken their covenant with God [Wall], and they would receive the punishments God [Wall] had promised (Deuteronomy 27; 28).)
(‘ Then the LORD said to Hosea, “Call him Jezreel, because I will soon punish the house of Jehu for the massacre at Jezreel, and I will put an end to the kingdom of Israel. In that day I will break Israel’s bow in the Valley of Jezreel. – Hosea 1.4, 5 Elijah had predicted that the family of Israel’s King Ahab would be destroyed because of their wickedness (1 Kings 21.20-22), but Jehu went too far in carrying out God’s command (2 Kings 10.1-11). Therefore, Jehu’s dynasty would also be punished – in the Vally of Jezreel, the very place where he carried out the massacre of Ahab’s family. God’s [Wall’s] promise to put an end to Israel as an independent kingdom (“break Israel’s bow”) came true 25 years later when the Assyrians conquered the northern kingdom and carried the people into captivity.)
Step taken before a Jewish marriage:
‘ This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. – Matthew 1.18
There were three steps in a Jewish marriage. First, the two families agreed to the union. Second, a public announcement was made. At this point, the couple were “pledged”. This was similar to engagement today except that their relationship could be broken only through death or divorce (even though sexual relations were not yet permitted). Third, the couple were married and began living together. Because Mary and Joseph were engaged. Mary’s apparent unfaithfulness carried a severe socials stigma. According to Jewish civil law, Joseph ad a right to divorce her, and the Jewish authorities could have had her stoned to death (Deuteronomy 22.23, 24).
(1.18 Why is the virgin birth important to the Christian faith? Jesus Christ, God’s Son, had to be free from the sinful nature passed on to all other human beings by Adam. Because Jesus was born of a woman, he was a human being; but as the Son of God [Wall], Jesus was born without any trace of human sin. Jesus is both fully human and fully divine. – Because Jesus lived as a man, we know that he fully understands our experiences and struggles (Hebrews 4.15, 16). Because he is God [Wall], he has the power and authority to deliver us from sin (Colossians 2.13-15). We can tell Jesus all our thoughts, feelings, and needs. He has been where we are now, and he has the ability to help.)
(‘ Thus there were fourteen generations in all from Abraham to David, fourteen from David to the exile to Babylon, and fourteen from the exile to the Christ. – Matthew 1.17 Matthew breaks Israel’s history into three sets of 14 generations, but there were probably more generations than those listed here. Genealogies often compressed history, meaning that not every generation of ancestors was specifically listed. Thus the phrase the father of can also be translated “the ancestor of”.)
(‘ This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfil what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” – which means, “God [Wall] with us.” When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. – Matthew 1.18-25 Joseph was faced with a difficult choice after discovering that Mary was pregnant. Although he knew that taking Mary as his wife could be humiliating, Joseph chose to obey the angel’s command to marry her. His action revealed four admirable qualities: (1) righteousness (1.19), (2) discretion and sensitivity (1.19), (3) responsiveness to God [Wall] (1.24), and (4) self-discipline (1.25).)
Wrong attitudes towards:
‘ “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. – Matthew 5.31-32
Divorce is as hurtful and destructive today as in Jesus’ day. God [Wall] intends marriage to be a lifetime commitment (Genesis 2.24). When entering into marriage, people should never consider divorce an option for solving problems or a way out of a relationship that seems dead. In these verses, Jesu sis also attacking those who purposefully abuse the marriage contract, using divorce to satisfy their lustful desire to marry someone else. Are your actions today helping your marriage grow stronger, or are you tearing it apart?
(‘ If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. – Matthew 5.29, 30 When Jesus said to get rid of your hand or your eye, he was speaking figuratively. He didn’t mean literally to gouge out your eye, because even a blind person can lust. But if that were the only choice, it would be better to go into heaven with one eye or hand than to go to hell with two. We sometimes tolerate sins in our lives that, left unchecked, could eventually destroy us. It is better to experience the pain of removal (getting rid of a bad habit or something we treasure, for instance) than to allow the sin to bring judgment and condemnation. Examine your life for anything that causes you to sin, and take every necessary action to remove it.)
Don’t look for excuses to leave yours:
‘ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. – Matthew 5.32
Jesus said that divorce is not permissible except for unfaithfulness. This does not mean that divorce should automatically occur when a spouse commits adultery. The word translated “unfaithfulness” implies a sexually immoral life-style, not a confessed and repented act of adultery. Those who discover that their partner has been unfaithful should first make every effort to forgive, reconcile, and restore their relationship. We are always to look for reasons to restore the marriage relationship rather than for excuses to leave it.)
(‘ “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’ – Matthew 5.33ff Here, Jesus was emphasising the importance of telling the truth. People were breaking promises and using sacred language causally and carelessly. Keeping oaths and promises is important; it builds trust and makes committed human relationships possible. The Bible condemns making vows or taking oaths casually, giving your word while knowing that you won’t keep it, or swearing falsely in God’s [Wall’s] name (Exodus 20.7; Leviticus 19.12; Numbers 30.1, 2; Deuteronomy 19.16-20). Oaths are needed in certain situations only because we live in a sinful society that breeds distrust.)
(‘ “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’ But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstall; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and you ‘No’, ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. – Matthew 5.33-37 Oaths, or vows, were common, but Jesus told his followers not to use them – their word alone should be enough (see James 5.12). Are you known as a person of your word? Truthfulness seems so rare that we feel we must end our statements with “I promise”. If we tell the truth all the time, we will have less pressure to back up our words with an oath or promise.)
Jesus speaks about its purpose:
‘ “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female’. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” – Mark 10.5-9
God allowed divorce as a concession to people’s sinfulness. Divorce was not approved, but it was instituted to protect the injured party in a bad situation. Unfortunately, the Pharisees used Deuteronomy 24:1 as a proof text for divorce. Jesus explained that this was not God’s [Wall’s] intent; instead, God [Wall] wants married people to consider their marriage permanent. Don’t enter marriage with the option of getting out. Your marriage is more likely to be happy if from the outset you are committed to permanence. Don’t be hard-hearted like these Pharisees, but be hardheaded in your determination, with God’s [Wall’] help, to stay together.
(10.6-9 Women were often treated as property. Marriage and divorce were regarded as transactions similar to buying and selling land. But Jesus condemned this attitude, clarifying God’s [Wall’s original intention – that marriage bring oneness (Genesis 2.24). Jesus held up God’s [Wall’s] ideal for marriage and told his followers to live by that ideal.)
(‘ Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” – Mark 10.2 The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus with their question. If he supported divorce, he would be upholding the Pharisees’ procedures, and they doubted that he would do that. If Jesus spoke against divorce, however, some members of the crowd would dislike his position – some may have used the law to their advantage to divorce their wives. More important, he might incur the wrath of Herod, who had already killed John the Baptist for speaking out against divorce and adultery (6.17-28). This is what the Pharisees wanted. – The Pharisees saw divorce as a legal issue rather than a spiritual one. Jesus used this test as an opportunity to review God’s [Wall’s] intended purpose for marriage and to expose the Pharisees’ selfish motives. They were not thinking about what God [Wall] intended for marriage, but had settled for marriages of convenience. In addition, they were quoting Moses unfairly and out of context. Jesus showed these legal experts how superficial their knowledge really was.)
(‘ People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. – Mark 10.13-16 Jesus was often criticised for spending too much time with the wrong people – children, tax collectors, and sinners (Matthew 9.11; Luke 15.1, 2; 19.7). Some, including the disciples, thought Jesus should be spending more time with important leaders and the devout, because this was the way to improve his position and avoid criticism. But Jesus didn’t need to improve his position. He was God [Wall], and he wanted to speak to those who needed him most.)
(10.14 Adults are not as trusting as little children. To feel secure, all children need is a loving look and gentle touch from someone who cares. Complete intellectual understanding is not one of their requirements. They believe us if they trust us. Jesus said that people should believe in him with this kind of childlike faith. We should not have to understand all the mysteries of the universe; it should be enough to know that God [Wall] loves us and provides forgiveness for our sin. This doesn’t mean that we should be childish or immature, but we should trust God [Wall] with a child’s simplicity and receptivity.)
(FINAL TRIP TO JUDEA Jesus quietly left Capernaum, heading towards the borders of Judea before crossing the Jordan River. He preached there before going to Jericho. This trip from Galilee was his last; he would not return before his death. Mediterranean Sea, Galilee, Capernaum, Sea of Galilee, Jordan River, Canaan, Samaria, Jericho, Jerusalem, Dead Sea, Judea.)
Intended to be permanent:
‘ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. – Matthew 19.7-8
This law is found in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. In Moses’ day, as well as in Jesus’ day, the practice of marriage fell far short of God’s [Wall’s] intention. The same is true today. Jesus said that Moses gave this law only because of the people’s hard hearts – permanent marriage was God’s [Wall’s] intention. But because sinful human nature made divorce inevitable, Moses instituted some laws to help its victims. These were civil laws designed especially to protect the women who, in that culture, were quite vulnerable when living alone. Because of Moses’ law, a man could no longer just throw his wife out – he had to write a formal letter of dismissal. This was a radical step towards civil rights, for it made men think twice about divorce. God [Wall] designed marriage to be indissoluble. Instead of looking for reasons to leave each other, married couples should concentrate on how to stay together (19.3-9).
(‘ Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” – Matthew 19.3-12 John was put in prison and killed, at least in part, for his public opinions on marriage and divorce, so the Pharisees hoped to trap Jesus too. They were trying to trick Jesus by having him choose sides in a theological controversy. Two schools of thought represented two opposing views of divorce. One group supported divorce for almost any reason. The other believed that divorce could be allowed only for marital unfaithfulness. This conflict hinged on how each group interpreted Deuteronomy 24:1-4. In his answer, however, Jesus focused on marriage rather than divorce . He pointed out that God [Wall] intended marriage to be permanent and gave four reasons for the importance of marriage (19.4-6).)
(JESUS TRAVELS TOWARDS JERUSALEM Jesus left Galilee for the last time – heading towards his death in Jerusalem. He again crossed the Jordan, spending some time in Perea before going on to Jericho. Mediterranean Sea, Galilee, Capernaum, Sea of Galilee, Jordan River, Samaria, Perea, Jericho, Jerusalem, Judea, Idumea.)
‘ “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. – Luke 16.18
Most religious leaders of Jesus’ day permitted a man to divorce his wife for nearly any reason. Jesus’ teaching about divorce went beyond Moses’ (Deuteronomy 24.1-4). Stricter than any of the then-current schools of thought, Jesus’ teachings shocked his hearers (see Matthew 19.10) just as the y shake today’s readers. Jesus says in no uncertain terms that marriage is a lifetime commitment. To leave your spouse for another person may be legal, but it is adultery in God’s [Wall’s] eyes. As you think about marriage, remember that God [Wall] intends it to be a permanent commitment.
(‘ “The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John. Since that time, the good news of the kingdom of God is being preached, and everyone is forcing his way into it. It is easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for the least stroke of a pen to drop out of the Law. – Luke 16.16, 17 John the Baptist’s ministry was the dividing line between the Old and New Testaments (John 1.15-18). With the arrival of Jesus came the realisation of all the prophets’ hopes. Jesus emphasised that his kingdom fulfilled the law (the Old Testament); it did not cancel it (Matthew 5.17). His was not a new system but the culmination of the old. The same God [Wall] who worked through Moses was working through Jesus.)
(‘ “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ “But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’ “He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’ “Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’ “ ‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ “He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’ “ – Luke 16.19-31 The Pharisees considered wealth to be a proof of a person’s righteousness. Jesus startled them with this story where a diseased beggar is rewarded and a rich man is punished. The rich man did not go to hell because of his wealth but because he was selfish, refusing to feed Lazarus, take him in, or care for him. The rich man was hardhearted in spite of his great blessings. The amount of money we have is not as important as the way we use it. What is your attitude towards your money and possessions? Do you hoard them selfishly, or do you use them to help others?)
God doesn’t want everyone to marry:
‘ The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” – Matthew 19.10-12
Although divorce was relatively easy in Old Testament times (19.7), it is not what God [Wall] originally intended. Couples should decide against divorce from the start and build their marriage on mutual commitment. There are also many good reasons for not marrying, one being to have more time to work for God’s [Wall’s] kingdom. Don’t assume that God [Wall] wants everyone to marry. For many it may be better if they don’t. Be sure that you prayerfully seek God’s [Wall’s] will before you plunge into the lifelong commitment of marriage.
Don’t avoid it for the wrong reasons:
‘ For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” – Matthew 19.12
Some have physical [Sternum] limitations that prevent their marrying, while others choose not to marry because, in their particular situation, they can serve God [Wall] better as single people. Jesus was not teaching us to avoid marriage because it is inconvenient or takes away our freedom. That would be selfishness. A good reason to remain single is to use the time and freedom to serve God [Wall]. Paul elaborates on this in 1 Corinthians 7.
(19.12 A “eunuch” is an emasculated male – a man with no testicles.)
(‘ Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. – Matthew 19.13-15 The disciples must have forgotten what Jesus had said about children (18.4-6). Jesus wanted little children to come because he loves them and because they have the kind of attitude needed to approach God [Wall]. He didn’t mean that heaven is only for children, but that people need childlike attitudes of trust in God [Wall]. The receptiveness of little children was a great contrast to the stubbornness of the religious leaders who let their education and sophistication stand in the way of the simple faith needed to believe in Jesus.)
Priscilla & Aquila demonstrate unity in, PROFILE
Illustrates our relationship to God’s law:
‘ For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code. – Romans 7.2-6
Paul uses marriage to illustrate our relationship to the law. When a spouse dies, the law of marriage no longer applies. Because we have died with Christ, the law can no longer condemn us. We rose again when Christ was resurrected and, as new people, we “belong” to Christ. His Spirit enables us to produce good fruit for God. We now serve not by obeying a set of rules, but out of renewed hearts and minds that overflow with love for God [Wall].
(7.4 When a person dies to the old life and belongs to Christ, a new life begins. An unbeliever’s mindset is centred on his or her own personal gratification. Those who don’t follow Christ have only their own self-determination as their source of power. By contrast, God [Wall] is at the centre of a Christian’s life. God [Wall] supplies the power for the Christian’s daily living. Believers find that their whole way of looking at the world changes when they come to Christ.)
(7.6 Some people try to earn their way to God [Wall] by keeping a set of rules (obeying the Ten Commandments, attending church faithfully, or doing good deeds), but all they earn for their efforts is frustration and discouragement. However, because of Christ’s sacrifice, the way to God [Wall] is already open, and we can become his children simply by putting our faith in him. No longer trying to reach God [Wall] by keeping rules, we can become more and more like Jesus as we live with him day by day. Let the Holy Spirit turn your eyes away from your own performance and towards Jesus. He will free you to serve him out of love and gratitude. This is living “in the new way of the Spirit”.)
(7.6 Keeping the rules, laws, and customs of Christianity doesn’t save us. Even if we could keep our actions pure, we would still be doomed because our hearts and minds are perverse and rebellious. Like Paul, we can find no relief in the synagogue or church until we look to Jesus Christ himself for our salvation – which he gives us freely. When we do come to Jesus, we are flooded with relief and gratitude, not by the desire to get God’s [Wall’s] approval. We will not be merely submitting to an external code, but willingly and lovingly seeking to do God’s [Wall’s] will.)
(‘ Do you not know, brothers – for I am speaking to men who know the law – that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? – Romans 7.1ff Paul shows that the law is powerless to save the sinner (7.7-14), the lawkeeper (7.15-22), and even the person with a new nature (7.23-25). The sinner is condemned by the law; the lawkeeper can’t live up to it; and the person with the new nature finds his or her obedience to the law sabotaged by the effects of the old nature. Once again, Paul declares that salvation cannot be found by obeying the law. No matter who we are, only Jesus Christ can set us free.)
(‘ Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. – Romans 7.9-11 Where there is no law, there is no sin, because people cannot know their actions are sinful unless a law forbids those actions. God’s [Wall’s] law makes people realise that they are sinners doomed to die, yet it offers no help. Sin is real, and it is dangerous. Imagine a sunny day at the beach. You plunge into the sea; then you notice a sign on the pier: “No swimming. Sharks in water.” Your day is ruined. Is it the sign’s fault? Are you angry with the people who put it up? The law is like a sign. It is essential, and we are grateful for it – but it doesn’t get rid of the sharks.)
Background to Paul’s teachings to the Corinthians:
‘ Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. – 1 Corinthians 7.1ff
Christians in Corinth were surrounded by sexual temptation. The city [Seat] had a reputation even among pagans for sexual immorality and religious prostitution. It was to this kind of society that Paul delivered these instructions on sex and marriage. The Corinthians needed special, specific instructions because of their culture’s immoral standards. For more on Paul’s teachings about marriage, see Ephesians 5.
(7.1 The Corinthians had written to Paul, asking him several questions relating to the Christian life and problems in the church. The first question was whether it was good to be married. Paul answers this and other questions in the remainder of this letter.)
(‘ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God [Wall]? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God Wall] with your body. – 1 Corinthians 6.19, 20 What did Paul mean when he said that our bodies belong to God [Wall]? Many people say they have the right to do whatever they want with their own bodies. Although they think that this is freedom, they are really enslaved to their own desires. When we become Christians, the Holy Spirit fills and live sin us. Therefore, we no longer own our bodies. “Bought at a price” refers to slaves purchased at auction. Christ’s death freed us from sin, but also obligates us to his service. If you live in a building owned by someone else, you try not to violate the building’s rules. Because your body belongs to God [Wall], you must not violate his standards for living.)
Sexual relationships in:
‘ The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7.3-5
Sexual temptations are difficult to withstand because they appeal to the normal and natural desires that God [Wall] has given us. Marriage provides God’s [Wall’s] way to satisfy these natural sexual desires and to strengthen the partners against temptation. Married couples have the responsibility to care for each other; therefore, husbands and wives should not withhold themselves sexually from one another, but should fulfil each other’s needs and desires. (See also the note on 10.13.)
(‘ The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God [Wall]; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7.3-11 The Corinthian church was in turmoil because of the immorality of the culture around them. Some Greeks, in rejecting immorality, rejected sex and marriage altogether. The Corinthian Christians wondered if this was what they should do also, so they asked Paul several questions: “Because sex is perverted, shouldn’t we also abstain in marriage”? If my spouse is unsaved, should I seek a divorce”? Paul answered many of these questions by saying, “For now, stay put. Be content in the situation where God [Wall] has placed you. If you’re married, don’t seek to be single. If you’re single, don’t seek to be married. Live God’s [Wall’s] way, one day at a time, and he will show you what to do”.)
(7.4 Spiritually, our bodies belong to God [Wall] when we become Christians because Jesus Christ bought us by paying the price to release us from sin (see 6.19, 20). Physically, our bodies belong to our spouses because God [Wall] designed marriage so that, through the union of husband and wife, the two become one (Genesis 2.24). Paul stressed complete equality in sexual relationships. Neither male nor female should seek dominance or autonomy.)
(7.7 Both marriage and singleness are gifts from God [Wall]. One is not morally better than the other, and both are valuable to accomplishing God’s purposes. It is important for us, therefore, to accept our present situation. When Paul said he wished that all people were like him (ie., unmarried), he was expressing his desire that more people would devote themselves completely to the ministry without the added concerns of spouse and family, as he had done. He was not criticising marriage – after all, it is God’s [Wall’s] created way of providing companionship and populating the earth.)
Should sexual pressure cause one to marry?
‘ But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. – 1 Corinthians 7.9
Sexual pressure is not the best motive for getting married, but it is better to marry the right person than to “burn with passion”. Many new believers in Corinth thought that all sex was wrong, and so engaged couples were deciding not to get married. In this passage, Paul was telling couples who wanted to marry that they should not frustrate their normal sexual drives by avoiding marriage. This does not mean, however, that people who have trouble controlling themselves should marry the first person who comes along. It is better to deal with the pressure of desire than to deal with an unhappy marriage.)
Don’t assume you married the wrong person:
‘ Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God [Wall] has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. – 1 Corinthians 7.17
Apparently the Corinthians were ready to make wholesale changes without thinking through the ramifications. Paul was writing to say that people should be Christians where they are. You can do God’s [Wall’s] work and demonstrate your faith anywhere. If you became a Christian after marriage, and your spouse is not a believer, remember that you don’t have to be married to a Christian to live for Christ. Don’t assume that you are in the wrong place, or stuck with the wrong person. You may be just where God [Wall] wants you (see 7.20).
(‘ But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God [wall] has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? – 1 Corinthians 7.15, 16 This verse is misused by some as a loophole to get out of marriage. But Paul’s statements were given to encourage the Christian spouse to try to get along with the unbeliever and make the marriage work. If, however, the unbelieving spouse insisted on leaving, Paul said to let him or her go. The only alternative would be for a Christian to deny his or her faith to preserve the marriage, and that would be worse than dissolving the marriage. Paul’s chief purpose in writing this was to urge the married coupled to seek unity, not separation (see 7.17; 1 Peter 3.1, 2).)
(‘ Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become circumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s [Wall’s] commands is what counts. – 1 Corinthians 7.18, 19 The ceremony of circumcision was an important part of the Jews’ relationship with God [Wall]. In fact, before Christ came, circumcision was commanded by God [Wall] for those who claimed to follow him (Genesis 17.9-14). But after Christ’s death, circumcision was no longer necessary (Acts 15; Romans 4.9-11; Galatians 5.2-4; Colossians 2.11). Pleasing God [Wall] and obeying him is more important than observing traditional ceremonies.)
Problems marriage won’t solve:
‘ But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. – 1 Corinthians 7.28
Many people naively think that marriage will solve all their problems. Here are some problems marriage won’t solve: (1) loneliness, (2) sexual temptation, (3) satisfaction of one’s deepest emotional needs, (4) elimination of life’s difficulties. Marriage alone does not hold two people together, but commitment does – commitment to Christ and to each other despite conflicts and problems. As wonderful as it is, marriage does not automatically solve every problem. Whether married or single, we must be content with our situation and focus on Christ, not on loved ones, to help address our problems.
(‘ Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. – 1 Corinthians 7.26 Paul probably foresaw the impending persecution that the Roman government would soon bring upon Christians. He gave this practical advice because being unmarried would mean less suffering and more freedom to throw one’s life into the cause of Christ (7.29), even to the point of fearlessly dying for him. Paul’s advice reveals his single-minded devotion to spreading the Good News.)
(‘ What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; – 1 Corinthians 1.29 Paul urges believers to make the most of their time before Christ’s return. Every person in every generation should have this sense of urgency about telling the Good News to others. Life is short – there’s not much time!)
Submission in:
‘ Now I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God [Wall]. – 1 Corinthians 11.3
Submission is a key element in the smooth functioning of any business, government, or family. God [Wall] ordained submission in certain relationships to prevent chaos. It is essential to understand that submission is not surrender, withdrawal, or apathy. It does not mean inferiority, because God [Wall] created all people in his image and because all have equal value. Submission is mutual commitment and co-operation.
Thus God [Wall] calls for submission among equals. He did not make the man superior; he made a way for the man and woman to work together. Jesus Christ, although equal with God [Wall] the Father [up], submitted to him to carry out the plan for salvation. Likewise, although equal to man under God [Wall], the wife should submit to her husband for the sake of their marriage and family. Submission between equals is submission by choice, not by force. We serve God [Wall] in these relationships by willingly submitting to others in our church, to our spouses, and to our government leaders.
(11.3 In this phrase, “the head of the woman is man”, head is not used to indicate control or supremacy, but rather, “the source of”. Because man was created first, the woman derives her existence from man, as man does from Christ and Christ from God [Wall]. Evidently Paul was correcting some excesses in worship that the emancipated Corinthian women were engaging in.)
‘ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. – Ephesians 5.21-22
Submitting to another person is an often misunderstood concept. It does not mean becoming a doormat. Christ – at whose name “every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth” (Philippians 2.10) – submitted his will to the Father, and we honour Christ by following his example. When we submit to God [Wall’] we become more willing to obey his command to submit to others, that is, to subordinate our rights to theirs. In a marriage relationship, both husband and wife are called to submit. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband’s leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife. Submission is rarely a problem in homes where both partners have a strong relationship with Christ and where each is concerned for the happiness of the other.
(‘ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. – Ephesians 5.20 When you feel down, you may find it difficult to give thanks. Take heart – in all things Go d[Wall] works for our good if we love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8.28). Thank God [Wall], not for your problems, but for the strength he is building in you through the difficult experiences of your life. You can be sure that God’s [Wall’s] perfect love will see you through.)
Spiritual leadership in:
‘ Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. – Ephesians 5.22-24
Although some people have distorted Paul’s teaching on submission by giving unlimited authority to husbands, we cannot get around it – Paul told wives to submit to their husbands. The fact that a teaching is not popular is no reason to discard it. According to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership. But real spiritual leadership involves service. Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their feet, so the husband is to serve his wife. A wise and Christ-honouring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honouring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes disunity and friction in marriage.
(5.22-24 In Paul’s day, women, children, and slaves were to submit to the head of the family – slaves would submit until they were freed, male children until they grew up, and women and girls their whole lives. Paul emphasised the equality of all believers in Christ (Galatians 3.28), but he did not suggest overthrowing Roman society to achieve it. Instead, he counselled all believers to submit to one another by choice – wives to husbands and also husbands to wives; slaves to masters and also masters to slaves; children to parents and also parents to children. This kind of mutual submission preserves order and harmony in the family while it increases love and respect among family members.)
Did Paul disapprove of?
‘ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her – Ephesians 5.25ff
Some Christians have thought that Paul was negative about marriage because of the counsel he gave in 1 Corinthians 7:32-38. These verses in Ephesians, however, show a high view of marriage. Here marriage is not a practical necessity or a cure for lust, but a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church! Why the apparent difference? Paul’s counsel in 1 Corinthians was designed for a state emergency during a time of persecution and crisis. Paul’s counsel to the Ephesians is more the biblical ideal for marriage. Marriage, for Paul, is a holy union, a living symbol, a precious relationship that needs tender, self-sacrificing care.
(‘ ‘ Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5.22-28 Why did Paul tell wives to submit and husbands to love? Perhaps Christian women, newly freed in Christ, found submission difficult; perhaps Christian men, used to the Roman custom of giving unlimited power to the head of the family, were not used to treating their wives with respect and love. Of course both husbands and wives should submit to each other (5.21), just as both should love each other.)
How should a man love his wife?
‘ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. – Ephesians 5.25-30
Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to submit to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? (1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. (2) He should make her well-being of primary importance. (3) He should care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her in this way.)
(5.26, 27 Christ’s death sanctifies and cleanses the church. He cleanses us from the old ways of sin and sets us apart for his special sacred service (Hebrews 10.29; 13.12). Christ cleansed the church by the “washing” of baptism. Through baptism we are prepared for entrance into the church just as ancient Near Eastern brides were prepared for marriage by a ceremonial bath. It is God’s [Wall’s] word that cleanses us (John 17.17; Titus 3.5).)
‘ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. – 1 Peter 3.7
When Peter calls women the “weaker” partners, he does not imply moral or intellectual inferiority, but he is recognising women’s physical [Sternum] limitations. Women in his day, if unprotected by men, were vulnerable to attack, abuse, and financial disaster. Women’s lives may be easier today, but women are still vulnerable to criminal attack and family abuse. And in spite of increased opportunities in the workplace, most women still earn considerably less than most men, and the vast majority of the nations’ poor are single mothers and their children. A man who honours his wife as a member of the weaker sex will protect, respect, help, and stay with her. He will not expect her to work full-time outside the home and full-time at home; he will lighten her load wherever he can. He will be sensitive to her needs, and he will relate to her with courtesy, consideration, insight, and tact.
(3.7 If a man is not considerate and respectful of his wife, his prayers will be hindered, because a living relationship with God [Wall] depends on right relationships with others. Jesus said that if you have a problem with a fellow believer, you must make it right with that person before coming to worship (Matthew 5.23, 24). This principle carries over into family relationships. If men use their position to mistreat their wives, their relationship with God [Wall] will suffer.)
(‘ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God [Wall] used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, – 1 Peter 3.5 To be submissive means to co-operate voluntarily with someone else out of love and respect for God [Wall] and for that person. Ideally, submission is mutual (“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” – Ephesians 5.21). Even when it is one-sided, however, the expression of submission can be an effective Christian strategy. Jesus Christ submitted to death so that we could be saved; we may sometimes have to submit to unpleasant circumstances so that others will see Christ in us. (Christian submission never requires us to disobey God [Wall] or to participate in what our conscience forbids). One-sided submission requires tremendous strength. We could not do it without the power of the Holy Spirit working in us.)
(‘ Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. – 1 Peter 3.8 Peter lists five key elements that should characterise any group of believers: (1) harmony – pursuing the same goals; (2) sympathy – being responsive to others’ needs; (3) love – seeing and treating each other as brothers and sisters; (4) compassion – being affectionately sensitive and caring; and (5) humility – being willing to encourage one another and rejoice n each other’s successes. These five qualities go a long way towards helping believers serve God [Wall] effectively.)
EXTRA
(‘ What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. – 1 Corinthians 7.29-31 Paul urges believers not to regard marriage, home, or financial security as the ultimate goals of life. As much as possible, we should live unhindered by the cares of this world, not getting involved with burdensome mortgages, budgets, investments, or debts that might keep us from doing God’s [Wall’s] work. A married man or woman, as Paul points out (7.33, 34), must take care of earthly responsibilities – but they should make every effort to keep them modest and manageable.)
(‘ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings, just as I passed them on to you. Now I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God [Wall]. Every man who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her head – it is just as though her head were shaved. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image of glory of God [Wall]; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head. In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God [Wall]. Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice – nor do the churches of God [Wall]. – 1 Corinthians 11.2-16)
(11.2ff In this section Paul’s main concern is irreverence in worship. We need to read it in the context of the situation in Corinth. The matter of wearing hats or head coverings, although seemingly insignificant, had become a big problem because two cultural backgrounds were colliding. Jewish women always covered their heads in worship. For a woman to uncover her head in public was a sign of loose morals. On the other hand, Greek women may have been used to worshipping without head coverings. – In this letter Paul had already spoken about divisions and disorder in the church. Both are involved in this issue. Paul’s solution comes from his desire for unity among church members and for appropriateness in the worship service. He accepted God’s [Wall’s] sovereignty in creating the rules for relationships.)
(11.2-16 This section focuses primarily on proper attitudes and conduct in worship, not on the marriage relationship or on the role of women in the church. While Paul’s specific instructions may be cultural (women covering their heads in worship), the principles behind this specific instructions are timeless, principles like respect for spouse, reverence and appropriateness in worship, and focus of all of life on God [Wall]. If anything you do can easily offend members and divide the church, then change your ways to promote church unity. Thus Paul told the women who were not wearing head coverings to wear them, not because it was a Scriptural command, but because it kept the congregation from dividing over a petty issue that served only to take people’s minds off Christ.)
(11.9-11 God [Wall] created lines of authority in order for his created world to function smoothly. Although there must be lines of authority, even in marriage, there should not be lines of superiority. God [Wall] created men and women with unique and complementary characteristics. One sex is not better than the other. We must not let the issue of authority and submission become a wedge to destroy oneness in marriage. Instead, we should use our unique gifts to strengthen our marriages and to glorify God [Wall].)
(11.10 “Because of the angels, the women ought to have a sign of authority on her head” may mean that the woman should wear a covering on her head as a sign that she is under the man’s authority. This is a fact even the angels understand as they observe Christians in worship. See the note on 11:2ff for an explanation of head coverings.)
(11.14, 15 In talking about head coverings and length of hair, Paul is saying that believers should look and behave in ways that are honourable within their own culture. In many cultures long hair on men is considered appropriate and masculine. In Corinth, it was thought to be a sign of male prostitution in the pagan temples. And women with short hair were labelled prostitutes. Paul was saying that in the Corinthian culture, Christian women should keep their hair long. If short hair on women was a sign of prostitution, then a Christian woman with short hair would find it even more difficult to be a believable witness for Jesus Christ. Paul wasn’t saying we should adopt all the practices of our culture, but that we should avoid appearances and behaviour that detract from our ultimate goal of being believable witnesses for Jesus Christ while demonstrating our Christian faith.)
(‘ Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, – Ephesians 5.19. Missing Note.)
(‘ How beautiful your sandalled feet, O prince’s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman’s hands. Song of Songs 7.1 Graceful can be “curvaceous”.)
(‘ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. – 1 Peter 3.3 We should not be obsessed by fashion, but neither should we be so unconcerned that we do not bother to care for ourselves. Hygiene, neatness, and grooming are important, but even more important are a person’s attitude and inner spirit. True beauty begins inside.)
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